The Holy Spirit and other voices in my head

The Holy Spirit and other voices in my head 6-5-13
Do you believe the bible? Do you believe every bit of it? I do. As I read through it, I wonder why people say they believe it but act as if they don’t. I keep asking myself, if they could do that back then based on the power of the Holy Spirit, then why can’t we do it now? I can’t find anywhere in the bible where it says, ‘but God doesn’t do that now’ or ‘the Holy Spirit doesn’t work like that now.’ Where does it say that we can no longer work miracles, heal or speak from the power of the Holy Spirit?
I had some other religious sect knock on my door before moving here to Flag. She asked if I knew Christ and I said something to the effect of “Know Him?? I have a great relationship with Him! I love Him. Why, I have seen Him work miracles in my life and that of my family! I have seen people healed.” And she said, with a very flat tone like she sympathized with me for not knowing this, “Oh, He doesn’t do that anymore.” Well, I forget how it ended because I was painting my house and she was lost for words, I think. But tell me, truly, do you believe the Holy Spirit is alive in you and can perform miracles through you?
My first experience with hearing His audible voice in my head happened back in about 2004. I had always believed in God but lived like I didn’t, based on my behavior. What I knew of the bible was told to me through others, and some not knowledgeable at all... or worse, knowledgeable enough to be dangerous but have not love. I was deep in sin my whole life and had just discovered I WAS in a certain sin by reading the bible. I immediately stopped living in that sin the moment I read it and I repented whole heartedly. But I couldn’t leave yet. I had to make sure someone else was okay before I left. I didn’t know much about praying in reverence. At the end of my day, I was tired and would lay on the bed to pray. I laid there on my back pleading with Him to bring this person back to Christ before I left. (Some very backwards, disciple driven, home schooling on the bible had driven this person completely away from God.) And as I lay there pleading for their salvation, I heard an audible strong, firm male voice say, “Get on your knees.” And with it came the thought that I was being lazy and disrespectful considering I had lived my life in sin and was asking for mercy and grace. (Not in those words mind you, but the overall impression was that.) So, I hurriedly got down on my knees, and even pressed my face to the floor, remembering the reverence I had read about in the bible, and continued praying. God was to answer that prayer. I could elaborate but you wouldn’t want to read it all. He wiped my sin clean as if I never had the inclination and he saved my friend who was still in it. God DOES speak audibly, He can be the voice inside your head and He does compel.
Now, I will be the first to admit that I don’t like it when it isn’t audible because I can’t tell if it is coming from Him, me or the evil one… except the evil one always leads you in the wrong path; the one that you know common sensically not to take. I have felt compelled before and followed that feeling and it never came to fruition. So it is difficult to distinguish sometimes… most times. I always tell God that I have to be hit with a brick to be sure it is from Him. Especially now, when all I want to do is serve Him, I don’t want to be sidetracked by my own ideas, even if they seem like good ones.
So anyway, the other day I was praying with a woman in church about her daughter being an addict. Her daughter is 59. Her daughter’s name is Paula. [Please put her on your prayer list.] So we finish praying and went back to our seats. This is going to sound weird- it does to me, but while we are singing praises, I was praying for Sarah and Paula. I prayed in tongues as I felt compelled. I started singing, then praying, etc. Then an overpowering feeling came over me and said, in a strong male voice “Sarah! Your daughter will be healed because of your faithful service.” And with that came the compelling urge to spin around and calmly state that from where I was in church. (I was in the front, she was in the back.) In fact, I couldn’t help but look back several times and literally fought the urge to make a fool of myself in church. I stood frozen having that conversation you have with Him when He is prompting you to action and you are trying to compromise so that you don’t scare people to death. It is then that He reminded me that I should be bold in my faith. And in the back of my mind I thought, ‘what a hypocrite. I sit there reading the bible for all its worth asking why it isn’t possible today and saying I believe it is, then I chicken out in church because I think others will think I am nuts.’ So to compromise, because that IS what we do, I went to her during the song and whispered what He said, then went back to my seat. After church, I felt I should tell her the whole story and I did. She never really looked at me. I think she thought I was nuts. So I hope that the truth didn’t make her doubt His power or promise.
Do you see? We can’t help but be human and hypocritical. I really feel that God might have wanted to prove to this church, maybe someone specific in the church, maybe a spiritual leader who is struggling? that He does do miracles and isn’t ‘dead’ like we act like He is. We act like He was some distant God that rose from the dead and doesn’t really do that any more. But that is such bull! Don’t you believe for one minute that he can’t speak through you in some manner to heal others, to bring others to Christ, to build bridges, restore relationships, to save the world…. Don’t doubt His power and DO NOT doubt the power of the Holy Spirit.
That being said, I still sometimes doubt myself and my ability to distinguish between the Holy Spirit and the voices in my head. There are two voices against the Truth in me. One is me doubting myself and the other is satan trying to talk me out of my faith in His power. But I KNOW the Holy Spirit lives. I KNOW there is healing and miracles all over the place because I have SEEN it for myself, most recently in the Teen Challenge Home of Hope. And I KNOW the Holy Spirit has, can and will use me again to speak life into another soul. Whether they believe or want to lock me up is on them. I will speak boldly in the Word and Faith. And I KNOW He can and will use you if you are open to it.
Stay in the Word, stay close to Him so He can speak to you through the Holy Spirit, then don’t doubt for a second that He can and will speak through you when you open yourself to Him as His vessel. I have no idea how this Sarah thing will work out, but I know that Paula will be healed and come to know god, preferable in Teen Challenge as I told Sarah all about it. Pray to God for her Faith and healing.