Degrees of Knowing

Degrees of Knowing
When I look back on my life with Christ, I realize that there have been definite degrees of knowing Him. I have to shake my head when I think of how naïve I was when I was a newborn in Christ. And I am not even close to knowing enough. My first recollection of knowing God is when I was about five years old. We didn’t have much, but we had a huge yard with rolling little hills, a massive flourishing garden and green grass. We lived in New Diggings, Wisconsin. I was way towards the end of the yard at night, lying on my back, looking at the stars and talking to God. To put this into perspective, you have to know our family. We didn’t go to church. Where did I learn about God at the age of five with no exposure to Him through this world? Ponder that.
I have been and have met all kinds of people at differing degrees of ‘knowing’ God. The first type that stuck with me is the person who knows His history almost verbatim but doesn’t ‘know’ His heart. I have known so many people who can spout chapter and verse and I have envied them (a sin in itself) for being able to recite the Word from memory. They could argue a point and enhance your knowledge with all kinds of scripture but they just had no love. Initially I saw them for status they held or the great knowledge they possessed. Some were deacons in their church, but had no selfless love for God or others. If you can spout off the bible verbatim, but you are heartless, selfish and boastful in your life, you are missing the most important attribute of all. 1 Corinthians 13:2 says “And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
It is amazing to see yourself in others. Decades ago, if you asked me, I would have said that I do believe in God and that I was going to Heaven, but it was a blank statement based on no more knowledge than believing a rumor because someone said it was so. I knew God as an acquaintance, not as a trusted friend. Much like the degrees of knowledge that we have of people, some are strangers, acquaintances, surface friends, true friends and loved ones… but where is God in your levels of relationship? We tend to treat people to the degree that we know and love them. Do we simply say hello on Sunday at church and then never talk to Him again? Do we invite Him to our homes when we need company but keep Him at a distance at other times? Do we introduce Him to our friends and family as often as we are compelled to share His light? Do we talk to Him as a trusted friend, taking all of our blessings and troubles to Him? Would you give Him your shoes, your coat, your food, your home, your life? Do you really LOVE and appreciate Him every day? I used to read the bible out of obligation and guilt. But over the last few years, I crave His Word. I need it to keep me sane in this world. He lifts me up and refreshes me. I literally talk to Him and trust Him for all things now. Satan used to have a field day with my self-worth and try to convince me that God loved others more than me. He used to work on my guilt and human nature so that I would distance myself or doubt God’s endless love. But I try to live for Him and in Him every day now. It feels right. John 13:38 God spoke to Peter and said, “Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.” If you love the world, or anything of the world, more than you love God, you have some work to do.
The most basic knowledge of God is that He died for our sins. Before He came into the world, people would have to atone for their sins. Could you imagine having to provide sacrifices to the Lord for each and every sin? The rules/laws were so defined that we would be in line forever with no time for life. Christ was blameless. His love was so great that He died on the cross for our sins. Something that helped me put this in perspective is the movie Passion of the Christ. It is horribly graphic but humbling. We shouldn’t minimize the anguish and pain this man suffered knowingly for our sins though He Himself was sinless. Do you have anyone on this earth that would take such a beating, such pain and be willing to be hung on a cross with nails being hammered into his hands and feet without backing out? He did this for you and I. So now, whenever I think a wrong thought or feel unloving, whenever I do something I shouldn’t, I cringe and ask for forgiveness. I imagine that every time I sin, that nail is driven deeper into His skin, or He receives one more lashing on my behalf. So if we know that He died for our sins, why can’t we die to ourselves for Him? 1 Peter 2:24-“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.”
Finally, once it clicked and I realized the importance of God’s mercy, grace and love, I felt that I had to share it, but was embarrassed to just jump right in and talk about Him to others. I thought I would sound like a Jesus freak and they would look at me funny. I remember thinking that of my sister when she would go on about God’s love, decades ago. (Sorry sister haha, I love you and recognize, now, how you felt.) Over time, I started to look for little opportunities and listen to the Holy Spirit urging me on to share His light in some relevant way. This is problematic because I am human and my first thought was the glory I would feel if the person dropped to their knees in front of me and “I” had a part in their salvation. That is what we are. We are naturally selfish. But after a while I realized I don’t care if they think I am nuts, I don’t care if they understand it or fall to their knees at that moment, what I want is to plant that seed and let God do the work in them over time. I used to preach, where as now I learned to simply speak and trust God for the rest. I may use life’s situations to share God’s wisdom and mercy and love but I don’t start acting like ‘those heathens need God and I am gonna shove Him down their throats.’ I love them but I know it isn’t me who will save them, it is God’s work in them. Knowing of His light, mercy and grace and yet failing to share it with others is shameful. John 21:13- “When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.”
In all of this, where are you at in your relationship with God? Draw close to Him. We need Him in this dark world. I love Ephesians. Ephesians 6 says: “10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.”
Just think about where you are in your relationship with god and do your best to draw close to Him and die to yourself. God bless you.