I used to have this image in my head, falsely put
there by former sermons and conversations, that true salvation comes in a flash
and your entire life changes in an instant. Initially, I even doubted myself
because mine certainly didn’t happen that way. My heart was all in and my love
for God is as strong as anyone’s, but there were a lot of things that made me
feel less than because they didn’t immediately change in me. There were a lot of
behaviors and thought processes that were of the darkness that hid beneath the
surface and even some that seemed perfectly normal for me. Gradually, over a
period of time, these things bubbled to the surface like the impurities that
they were.
I will give you an example… maybe a few before this
is over. People used to tell me that I had to give up worldly music. At the
time of my conversion, I listened to everything. My son had made me a cassette tape
of hip hop songs and to tell the truth, I loved the rhythm . I was a fan of
almost all types of music. I like Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Lighter shade of Brown and The Notorious B.I.G right along with
blues, jazz, all manner of rock and Christian. I love music. But ‘they said’
music was used by the devil and I thought they were being extreme.
When I first became a Christian… I mean, for real,
not the badge wearing, Sunday only member, God started to deal with the things
in my life that contributed to my weaknesses. Seems to me the big issues were
attacked and eradicated first. I mean, if you are a drug addict, drugs have to
go. If you are a thief, stealing has to go. You have to be responsible and work for a living. You have to do unto others
as you would have done to you and so forth. But there are things that
contribute to your downfall that you may initially refuse to see. And these
things, let me tell you, are seemingly small but powerful enemies.
1 Pet 5:8: “Be sober-minded; be watchful.
Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to
devour.”
Eph 6:12: “For we do not wrestle against
flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the
cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly places.”
Listen, when God speaks, he doesn’t always do it
audibly. For me, there is a subtle nagging that won’t go away. Or He comes at
me with an overwhelming compelling urge that makes me feel like an addict must
feel when they need a fix… except in this case, He compels me to encourage the
homeless, speak to a sad woman, or other good things. Sometimes during worship
I am overcome by goose flesh and tingling.
I mean, maybe I am odd, but I don’t think so.
You know how a song will bring back memories of
things in your past, good, bad and ugly? Some songs will take you back to a
wonderful childhood memory or some songs make you sick because they remind you
of someone that hurt you and so forth? Well, I recognized in a very real way
that some of these songs also elicit feelings of sexuality and demoralize our
behavior. They make wrong seem attractive and elicit feelings of vanity, pride
and a power that can corrupt moral behavior.
I used to drive an hour, one way, to work in rush
hour traffic, five days a week. That means two hours in the car listening to
music. Two hours of my life being influenced by something outside myself. Eventually,
and this is weird I know, the words that I was singing, dancing and bee-bopping
to started to strike a nerve. Certain songs that I listened to sounded vulgar
and degrading to me. I would feel convicted and repulsed by the words they used
and would think… why do they have to use that language or degrade women and
depict sex in such a hideous way?! I would refuse to listen to it and would
change the station. And these were songs that I listened to forever…
One by one, I would remove that song from my
listening habits. Sometimes entire radio stations had to go because that is all
that they played. Listen, I am not saying that listening to some good ole
worldly music once in a while is going to corrupt you. I had to decide for
myself what affect the music had on me mentally and physically. I am saying
that God will gradually weed out those things that do not glorify Him… those
things that minimize your light to others by surrounding you with dark
behaviors. (If that makes sense)
But it isn’t just that. Our thought processes can
bring us down too. Most of my life I was controlling (distrusting), vain, self
centered, lustful, insecure and always trying to fill that void with anything
but God. And let me tell you now, brothers and sisters, if you don’t fill that
hole with God, there will be a lot of unwelcome demons riding on your back
willing to fill it for you.
Mat 12: 43-45: “When an unclean spirit comes out of a man,
it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will
return to the house I left.’ On its arrival, it finds the
house vacant, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and brings with
it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and dwell there;
and the final plight of that man is worse than the first. So will it be with
this wicked generation.”…”
Change sometimes doesn’t come overnight. I had to
pray and plead with God to take the thorns from my side. He kept putting it
back on me reminding me. I felt Him saying that He gave me the ability, the
power over temptation but it is my mouth and mind that has to say no
to sin. I found that once I successfully said no, I felt the power and
gratitude flow through me like I truly had to power to overcome anything! We have work to do people. It isn’t a magic pill.
When you think it is, and you don’t do the deep digging to find the root of the
problem, you get sucked back in too easily.
1 Cor. 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not
common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your
ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that
you may be able to endure it”
I use this saying for my students who struggle with
their thought life… like we all do. “The thoughts that you entertain become
your entertainment.” Listen, if men are all that you think about, you are going
to idolize and seek out men. If you lust after women, you will entertain the
thought and then the actual women every chance you get. If you obsess over your
appearance, then vanity will fill your life and break you down. If you have brokenness
that you haven’t dealt with, then anything that you try to fill your vessel
with will simply spill out onto the ground and you will be right back to square
one. If you cannot stop thinking of drugs and alcohol, then you will do what it
takes to consume them the first chance you get.
The bottom line is, my friends, when you are truly saved
and receive the Holy Spirit, you cannot continue to be in sin. The Holy Spirit
convicts you and shows you how to be. God knows that you can’t do it alone. You
don’t have the power. You can’t read scripture and expect this magic power that
saves you from your thorns. But He does have the power, and if the Holy Spirit
is in you, so do you. You have to exercise that power and say no to your flesh.
Luke
10:19: “Behold, I have given you authority to
tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and
nothing shall hurt you.”
James 4:7: “Submit yourselves therefore to
God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
There are places that help you do the deep digging.
Groundwire.net is a 24/7 chat line. Adult & Teen Challenges all over the
globe can take you in and help you become Disciples of Christ and in the
process free yourself.
But arm yourself with the Word and He will give you
answers.
Joshua 1: 8: “This Book of the Law
shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night,
so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For
then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”
Mat 4:4: “But he answered, “It is written,
“‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the
mouth of God.’”
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