The End Game

So here I will expose the truth of it in hopes that in writing this, I can find my way back. Back to what, I don’t know. Maybe ‘back’ isn’t where I am supposed to be. Maybe this is God’s way of refining me. Maybe I am supposed to be here to avoid impacting someone else’s life in a negative way before I am fully whole? Maybe my usefulness is over and I am best only at soaking up His truth and trying to control the humanness in my mind.********************* COVID pushed forth an era of isolation and dependency on technology that we had not seen in the past. It changed how we live and interacted for years out of necessity for our own survival. And yet, in that, it had a profound affect on our physical beings as well. Then we learned that COVID also had long term affects that some never recovered from. For me, my mental acuity took a major hit. I was no longer able to recall how to do integral parts of my job. I wrote the instructions for it and yet, I could not remember how to do the most basic task. I made errors that caused me to re-evaluate my usefulness. Besides my physical weakness and deterioration, my mental strength was weakened to the nth degree. ********************** Imagine spending your life being a ‘goal getter’ who thrives on challenging tasks and success, to feeling totally insecure and unsure of every move? But worse than I, we watched some of our friends lose that ability in ways that they cannot come back from. Long term COVID caused dementia and Alzheimers to come on and take over. Others lost their lives.**************************** Now, I am an untethered balloon floating about this life disconnected from the world around me and finding myself becoming even more isolated on purpose. I am fighting, inside myself, the tendency to stay in seclusion, in quietness, in safety, except for my immediate family. It is made easier by technology. I can email, chat, text and call, if absolutely necessary, but typically choose not to. I can attend church online, do bible study, worship in the safety of my own home without judgment, criticism, expectation, obligation and in anonymity. Oddly enough, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to judgment and negativity. ******************* I have slowly recovered mentally from whatever had attacked my mind… but I am still learning to be present. ********************** I receive revelations about what God wants me to say or do and if I don’t act on them right away, I lose them. This is one of those times. I have wonderful compelling subjects to discuss but they dissolve in midair as if they were never meant to be. Like mercury… like my floating balloon. ********************** I think I am not alone in my situation. Especially since 2020 when it was quite normal to separate and protect. In our separation, we found safety. Or so we thought. But I think we may have been like children in that, without guidance and oversight or accountability, it was easy to fall short in pursuit of empty goals and past-times. *********************** I think that we have been deceived. The end game wasn’t just physical or mental infirmity. It was spiritual as well. While we focused on our physical protection from disease, we failed to recognize our vulnerability. You see, we have become comfortably lazy in our connections with others. But more than that, we have been alone with our own human thoughts. Correction… we have NOT been alone with our own human thoughts. Without the input of a Christian community, friends, family and the like… the enemy enjoyed free reign in the playground of our minds. ********************* I don’t know what that looks like in your life, especially your thought life, but I know how it has affected mine. I just told you. There are many that felt that the church was the glue that held them together, kept them from falling back into their sin, whatever that was for them. Like a safety net taken away, a barrier to the things that once kept them in bondage, the evil one starts whispering to them, calling them back saying, ‘no one will see. No one cares. You are alone. You do you.’ ************************** Prov 18:1 “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” ********************* It is a lie from the pit of Hell so if that is you, drop that right now and get back to who God expects you to be! ********************** 1 Cor 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” ************************* Lack of connection with others in the church, or world, prevents us from receiving encouragement, accountability and a sense of community but it also prevents us from being a light for others in a way that we never knew we were. The lives that we affect, in any daily transaction of humankind, just by the way we look, behave or speak, can have a profound affect on so many others. The ripple affect. ************************** Ecc 4:9-10: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” ******************************* But there are those much worse off than I. Young adults seem to suffer worse than anyone because their minds, socialization, sense of community, friendships and physical health have been redefined. Many are broken, afraid, isolated and have forgotten how to communicate, even more so than they already had. Technology has been bad enough in stunting our ability to communicate but covid has amped that up ten fold. ************************** Emotional dependency, insecurity, physical deterioration, laziness, poor eating habits, social anxiety…. Young adults and teens whose mind is learning from society and their emotional intelligence is being formed based on interactions are being obliterated. *************************** Now… each of us has a way with people that works. Some are blunt, some are nurturing, some are slow and patient, some are funny…. What is your way? I guarantee you that someone out there, adult or not, needs that one touch of your hand on their shoulder and to hear your voice saying something positive, even if it is just “How are you today?” Waiting long enough to hear the answer and showing interest. How can we do that from the quiet solitude in our rooms. **************************** Mat 5:16: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” ********************************* Maybe its you. Maybe you need to hear something encouraging to get you on track. How can you hear it if you aren't’ there? We need to coax each other out. Invite each other to places that used to be normal to go to. Be in church with others to feel connected. Find common ground. Be the light to the one on the corner or in the dark. Maybe that is you… ******************************* I am sorry that I have been self-absorbed. I will try to do better. Will you? ************************** Much love people