From the frying pan to the fire

 I am compelled to put words to paper because I am unable to express them to those who need it most. So in the event that these words help someone who actually is ready to hear, then praise God it helped someone.

Where to start… Lord help me with the words to seep into their hearts and know that You are trying to reach them.

Stepping out of darkness

I watch so many of you come into the Adult & Teen Challenge program. This program, through Christ, leads you to the person that you were meant to be and breaks the bondage of substance abuse, self abuse and shame.

Most of you in the world will never know how it feels to watch someone transform from being all spun out on drugs and/or alcohol to being filled with the peace that surpasses all understanding and freed from a life of conviction and shame.

It isn’t an easy road for these men, women, boys and girls. No one has the ability to beat themselves up over and over like humans do. If what you see in the world is all that you know, and you haven’t had a loved one lost in the darkness of addiction, then you don’t really see the whole picture. Even then, if but once you could see what we see at Adult & Teen Challenge, it would change your life.

I would say that the hardest part (that I see) of healing and changing is the guilt and shame that they have for their actions, the loss of relationship with close family members and friends, the inability to eradicate the memories of what they have done and been from their own minds. Nothing you can say or do is as bad as what they say and do to themselves for their sins. Thus, they live with the self-abuse, cutting, selling themselves, allowing themselves to be used and abused and numbing themselves with drugs and alcohol. Essentially, they allow themselves to become a throw away in society because they feel as if they deserve nothing more. It is a very real possibility that someone in their life, sick of their misdeeds, told them that at one point or another.

Please keep in mind that much of their shame comes from what others have done to them. Many have fathers, uncles, brothers, family friends violating their innocence at very young ages. I have heard stories from the students about those who were supposed to be a trusted member of their family, who stole their childhood and tried to convince them that it was their fault. And in the case where they tried to tell their mother, were slapped, yelled at and disbelieved... even kicked out into the streets to fend for themselves. Keep in mind, while I hear it more from women, because I am one, the men are also victims of this.

Many of the students actually have step-parents who came into their lives and made them feel as if they were ‘less than’ their own children or made it clear they weren’t wanted. As a result, their own parent basically chose that significant other over protecting their own child. What a dark place to be, when you feel that you don’t have a home, are unwanted, unprotected… because, often times, abuse follows.

Then there are those whose own parents gave them their first joint, beer, needle, or whatever. Because those parents were lost in addiction and darkness and didn’t have the capacity to think like a rational adult.

We see gang bangers who have thought nothing of robbing, killing, prostituting or destroying others for their gain, for their next fix. Some real hard-liners who have done time and have one more shot to straighten up or go away forever. They walk in with the scars from battle and tats from the streets looking like someone your mama warned you about. You have no idea what it is to watch a grown hard-liner come into this program, and in a month or so, watch them raise their hands to the Lord and drop to their knees crying for the things they have done… for the things they have been. We get to witness true remorse and repentance, not the skim the surface, say it and then continue doing wrong type of remorse that the world partakes in. They come from no hope to THE hope. They come from darkness to the Light. They come from the lies of the evil one about who they are to the Truth about who they are in Christ! They find peace and joy for the first time in their lives.

I could go on… but I won’t. Suffice to say, these are the people who come through our doors. These are the weary, downtrodden, broken and ashamed.

Matthew 11: 28-29: ²⁸ Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

With all of the brokenness that they have faced in their lives, is it any wonder that 30 days won’t fix the problem? Our program is a minimum of 13 months because that gives them time to ask the hard questions, to dig deep, to learn about God, His love for them and how He sees them. Our program has no hard limit to how long you can stay. Our director says, it takes what it takes. In order to rebuild them in Christ’s image, we have to let them strip down to the very core of what they believe about themselves and replace it with Truth. For some, it is a quick work. For others, it is heart wrenching and difficult.

This program is truly God’s work in this dark world. We get to watch these broken lives slowly detox and become alert and alive. It is like watching them fight their way out of the dark sea of despair, rising to the top and realizing there is life for the first time in a long time. It is a battle to get through the shakes, the sickness, the exhaustion, their fleshly desires that scream out at them to use… trying to pull them under once again. It truly is a spiritual a battle for their souls. And it can look very much like an exorcism at times. At this phase, they are literally in crisis and that is what we call it. They can be in crisis mode for 45-90 days depending on what they are coming off of. They are surrounded by those who have been through it themselves, who come along side them with love, encourage them and understand them.

When they get through the worst of it, it is time for them to start learning about God and themselves so that they can dig deep and change the thoughts and behaviors that make them stumble over and over again. This part has several phases where they progress in knowledge and understanding of themselves and their relationship with God. They learn how to self-evaluate and trouble shoot if you will, so that they start to look at why they do what they do, what they were thinking and what the bible says about it. There is more to it than that, but that is the basics.

So when I see them in crisis and over the months, watch them slowly become happy, feeling safe and grateful… I am excited to imagine what God has in store for them. You would be in awe at what peeling back layers and layers of sin, guilt and shame will reveal! It is such a miracle. They recognize that there is another way, they are loved, they are worthy and they choose life!

Eventually, they are able to reach out to those safe people in their lives and attempt restoration of relationship. We have monthly baptisms for those that wish to be baptized. Restoration abounds with children who can see the men and women again, parents who begin to trust the transformation and start coming to visit, siblings that slowly want to be a part of their lives again. The joy, the tears of restoration, the love restored… it is priceless.

On the other hand, some family and friends fail to see the fragile nature of this new creation in Christ. They don’t think about the daily Spiritual battle for their souls. They don’t understand that they need to be supportive and clean and not enabling. They fail to realize that the students fleshly pattern is to be master manipulators and old habits die hard.

Ephesians 6: 13-18: Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; ¹⁷ and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, ¹⁸ praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

While the students have learned new techniques and thought processes, the families and friends are still where they were. They are still enablers, partakers, partiers, abusers and bangers. It is very difficult for a new creation to enter into the same worldly environment that took them down into darkness and not get caught up in the same old hype. They NEED to stay grounded in Christ. They NEED to have daily devotions. They NEED to network with fellow Christians and people who are sensitive to their vulnerabilities. They need people who will set aside their own desires to avoid causing these students to stumble. They need to remember where the battle grounds are and prepare daily for it.

Romans 14: 13-23: Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. ¹⁴ I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. ¹⁵ For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.¹⁶ So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. ¹⁸ Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. ¹⁹ So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

²⁰ Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. ²¹ It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.^[a] 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. ²³ But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.^[b]

Losing the battle, winning the war

Yes, we have lost a few. And gained them back… and lost them… and gained them back…

While most are successful and complete the program, some fail to recognize where the true battle lies and they allow their flesh to lead them astray. There is rarely anything more painful to see than when they are freed from their demons, are moving in the right direction and they choose to return to the streets for one more high. Some leave several times just to come back worse than they were before.

I plead with you now, STOP! I watched Him restore you and give you a joy that surpassed all understanding. I watched as you gave your life in service to Him and became a spokesperson against the sins of the world. I watched as others found forgiveness and love as you led them to the Lord. I watched your children, your family and your friend’s lives transformed by the love of Christ that they saw in YOU! The restoration and faith that ripples through those you love ripples even as you turned from Christ and chose another path!

I pleaded with you to stay with God’s purpose for your life and not be concerned with such worldly things as money, cars and sin. I reminded you that your heart is so big that only the love from such a program can fill you the way that you need to be filled. I told you the world had nothing for you and it would be pointless and unfulfilling to live in a dark, unappreciative world. With tears and pleading, I asked you so many times to turn from your sin that you will not reach out to me anymore. Now look!!!! What I had warned against has happened. It is only by the grace of God that someone hasn’t died from your choices!

I watched you choose sin at a time when God was blessing you! God had you in His hands and entrusted you with His children. I watched you succumb to the flesh and do what shouldn’t be done. I watched you betray your salvation and claim exemption for the thing that you continued to do.

At the same time, did you not notice that your life was falling away from God? You can say that you were busy, you worked too hard or needed money… but you chose to stop seeking Him when you started sinning in His presence. He allowed your heart to harden because of your sin! You stopped worshiping Him. You stopped seeking Him daily. You said as much! That alone should have frightened you! It isn’t enough that you try to live a double life in front of those that you were supposed to be an example for, so you chose more fleshly desires.

2 Peter 2:20-22 For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”

Romans 9:18: So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.

After choosing sin once, you also chose to partake in the same substances that brought you down the first time. And that choice took you out of His service and will for your life! You became engrained in the darkness of the world. Only this time, you fell farther than before. All the things you were spokesperson against, you became. Do you not see that once you know and you turn your back, He WILL let you go and it will be worse than before?!

Luke 11: 24-26: 24 When an unclean spirit comes out of a man, it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25On its return, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.26Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and dwell there. And the final plight of that man is worse than the first.”

You didn’t just stop leaning to God, you didn’t just make choices that affect others walk with Him, you didn’t just choose to sin in the flesh, to violate His laws of nature, to hold your fleshly desires as idols above God… you jumped into the darkness with both feet! Your flesh is your master! All that you worked so hard to restore is unraveled and laying at His feet because you stripped down to nothing and made your choice against Him the day you chose to sin in His service. You cannot escape repentance unless you are choosing death!

He restored you and you repaid Him by your unbelief and sin. You gave up your sword for the bottle; you betrayed others for your flesh. Your family mourns for you once again. The trust that was restored in your children is gone. You have wiped out your reputation as His child by your misdeeds. You have turned your back on the One who gave you life!

You could easily lose your life while in sin! You could easily make a choice that leads to someone else’s death and the living torment that would cause in your huge heart would be almost insurmountable! At what point do you stop being so prideful and stubborn and humble yourself before the Lord once again. Admit you have sinned and turned from Him and plead for forgiveness!!

And you seek the old sinful friends out to find comfort where there was only filth and shame. Shame on those who cater to your addictions and sin! Especially those in your circle of friends and family!!! I cannot fathom how they can justify even discussing drug use and drinking with a former addict let alone feeding the habit to help bring you down. I wonder if they just love to see you fall so they can say it was all a lie? What on earth are you thinking? What are they thinking?  “You want a pill, sure! You want a needle? Sure! You want to go drinking! Sure! Glad you are back, we missed you! You are so funny when you are high! No, don’t worry about it! Here are the keys to your car. Go kill yourself or someone else!”

My bad…truth is love

You said that you don’t want to be judged so you started to separate yourself from those who love you. You call it judgment; we call it love and truth… intervention. Would we be better to hang out with if we just pretended that you aren’t destroying your life? We just want to make sure it doesn’t end in death… yours or someone else’s. Most of those in the world are fine with not dealing with that confrontation. I am not. I love you too much.

You can out run me. You can shut me out. You can continue in sin. I won’t stop praying for you, loving you and interceding for you. You cannot run from God.

REPENT! Go back to the program that saved you! Do the real work! The hard work! Understand that He hasn’t stopped loving you. You are still the one that he left the 99 for! But the work is yours to do! You walked away, it is up to you to walk back! Reconnect with Him!

Acts 3:19: Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,