Lies

Psalms 15: A psalm of David.                                   

¹ Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
    Who may live on your holy mountain?

² The one whose walk is blameless,
    who does what is righteous,
    who speaks the truth from their heart;
³ whose tongue utters no slander,
    who does no wrong to a neighbor,
    and casts no slur on others;
⁴ who despises a vile person
    but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
    and does not change their mind;
⁵ who lends money to the poor without interest;
    who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

Whoever does these things
    will never be shaken.

It is important to keep the truth in your heart. If you can do that, then you have power over the enemy and his lies in your life. The more that we lean to the truth, walk in the way and light with each other, and ourselves, the less likely we are to fall prey to his schemes. We were born sinners and as such are weak in our flesh.

John 8:44: You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

I think the biggest lie that satan ever told is that one that we hear from other people a lot. “I am a Christian. I am a good person.” Our hearts hurt because when they already think that they are a Christian, they have preconceived notions. They stop searching the truth because they think that they are good enough and don’t need to work on it. They are insulted when you say that we are all sinners, including them. They feel that they only need to wear the name tag and that protects them from going to hell. So they continue to live life as they are. Lost.

But we know that being a Christian is not just a name tag. We know that we are not good people in and of ourselves. We know that the hardest work that we will ever do is a daily battle in our minds. 

We understand the spiritual warfare that we must endure against the one who would have us believe that we made it to some invisible mark and now we do not have to try to produce good fruit or immerse ourselves in the word.

On the surface, we may seem okay. We do what we should do, we love each other and support each other in the way that God has called us. But inside, we still fight our thought life. We always will.

Ephesians 6:12: ¹² For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Once God has called you, His Holy Spirit will guide you in all righteousness. He wouldn’t have the need for the Holy Spirit to dwell in us if we were capable of doing it alone. We aren’t.

John 14:15-31: Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

¹⁵ “If you love me, keep my commands. ¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be^[a] in you. ¹⁸ I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me.Because I live, you also will live. ²⁰ On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. ²¹ Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

²² Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

²³ Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. ²⁴ Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

²⁵ “All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶ But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

²⁸ “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. ²⁹ I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. ³⁰ I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, ³¹ but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.

“Come now; let us leave.

You must remember that each of us are at a different level of truth. Each of us are fighting the daily spiritual battle in ourselves and dealing with our own weaknesses and temptations on this earth. We cannot look upon our brothers and sisters and say, “I am up here and they are still down there.” You cannot judge them or where they are at because we are all the same to Christ who loves us and gave His life for us and left the Holy Spirit for us. But look at it this way, we are not alone either. We can lean to one another for strength and understanding. We can guide each other and love one another with the love of Christ. This is what we are called for.

Ephesians 4:25: ²⁵ Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Trust each other. We are all here for each other. We must understand that each of us have our own battles. We are not just here to feed the hungry, save the lost and house broken souls. We are here to support our brothers and sisters in Christ. Always.

Half the Fun

                                           

This, “The Bus of Hope”, mission is truly one of love and blind faith. We get many responses to our Instagram and FB posts. It is interesting to talk to people and hear their reactions to what we are doing. I think there is a definite difference between how we try to communicate about it, how others visualize it and the reality of it all.

I laid in bed, not sleeping again, thinking about next steps, things to do, places to go, etc… not worrying per se, but thinking. It dawned on me that there are at least 3 visuals of what this journey must look like to others, to us and, finally, the reality of all the imagined realities combined together to make a chaotic but successful mission.

The number one response is how cool it is. People often visualize the whole vagabond image, free from worldly constrain and able to go anywhere and do as we please.

Our version, our daily focus, what we mostly see, is God’s plan of guiding us to love others and do for others in a way that matters most to Him. We see being blessed with this home on wheels and the ability to continue to serve as He has called us to do, on a shoe string budget.

Then there is the realistic version. The reality of it all is a healthy combination of all of those visuals and then some. We are on a freedom journey to the ends of the earth with few restrictions… we are on a Spiritual journey to serve God and His blessed communities… and we are on a constant reality check of what it takes to accomplish this as non-retirement aged adults who left home, family, secular jobs and the luxury of the world to pursue a lonely path that many do not comprehend.

Our blessings are many. We get to see so many places and park in remote areas along the way. We meet so many people and hear so many stories of triumph and defeat. Just today we met two very beautiful and unique individuals that just touched our hearts in such a way that we wish to keep in touch with them forever. Jenn and her daughter Patience are such loving souls with such passion for life and others. The staff and students that we bond with on our mission become a part of our lives and hearts as well. But then, there are always the departures….

The beauty of this world is not lost on us. The glory of God’s gift to man, the intricacies of the world and how it functions so well to sustain all life (until man interferes of course) simply amazes me. The roar of the ocean against the banks of the shore is the most awesome wonder of this world, to me. Thunder, lightning and rain are second only to the ocean. The rain hitting the roof of The Bus of Hope sounds like music to my ears. Half the fun of this journey is truly the path to getting there.

But it isn’t all roses. We actually have real life struggles.

We are not retirement age. I draw a half retirement from my time with the state. By itself, it does not sustain our expenses. Therefore, the largest issue is financial. We have been in limbo and living on our savings in order to get the bus and car ready for another mission trip. We have to balance our volunteer hours with some income hours to build our savings and allow us to continue.  This is challenging as we must find jobs that understand we are there temporarily (until God calls us to stay). We have expenses for the bus, car, food, insurance, healthcare, ministry dues, tithes and unforeseen expenses that arise. We actually had to stop supporting a few very dear Christian causes within Teen Challenge because of a lack of funds.

Insurance was next to impossible. They do not want to hear that you live in a bus conversion RV full time. I won’t even go into that. It took 6 months to find insurance.

Healthcare is impossible. They do not have traveling healthcare. Healthcare.gov is costly and the insurance is stationary. In other words, you must have an address in an area where you will forever seek care. You cannot see doctors outside of your area, unless it is an emergency. If you have ongoing health issues, like skin cancer, you have to find a way to be checked every 6 months… or sooner if you find problems like I do. Other sites are financially prohibitive for us.

We have to be mindful of the solar, batteries, water tanks, propane level, energy consumption, compost mixture for the compost toilet, water use, internet use and other practical living changes that we have made to live in a converted bus. We use about an average of 15 gallons of water a day for dishes, coffee, drinking and showers. That is some thorough but quick showering, let me tell you! We do this whether we are boon-docking or plugged in so that we are not a burden on anyone. I have learned to dry shave from a cup of water on a towel on the floor.

The physical requirement of building this bus from start to finish… which has not been completely done yet, is a brutal daunting task two year task of getting this bus to where it is. Many of the steps to get it to this point have been long and grueling procedures that are hard on the skeletally challenged and those who are our age. My husband has major bone issues: dysplasia, arthritis, bad shoulders and a bad back… not once has he let it stop him from spending an entire day and night working to complete whatever task laid before him. I warn him that he can take a break and let his body rest, and I tell him how badly he will suffer and hurt and move… but to no avail. There is a mission at stake and he will not let his health stop him. He says that he will worry about the pain later. He fights through it until the job is done. I cannot stress enough that he has not learned his limitations and it is causing him to suffer needlessly.

There is the sadness of being separated from our Spiritual leaders and communities that we love so dearly. We become deeply bonded to those who touch our lives. We value their insights, we share in their lives, we want for the community it brings. It is so hard to leave a place where you have loved and served for Christ. Keep  in mind, our feelings run deep because we crave that closeness of community, being out in the world alone most of the time. However, it is difficult for ministries to return the sentiments for many very good reasons. While we are one couple; they see many volunteers come and go. It is next to impossible to form bonds and maintain relationships with everyone they meet. I feel the love and anguish of being a disciple and traveling to spread the word, trying hard to maintain relations from a distance and falling short of feeling relationship.  

The separation from family and friends is easier to bare because family and friends will always stay in touch. With today’s social media, it is easy. But there are births, illness and other familial responsibilities that we are forced to miss because of our commitment in service to our Lord and our mission. This is what God meant by leaving it all behind to follow Him. But we sometimes ache to see and hold our kids, grandkids and great grandkids. The saving grace in this is that my husband and I truly enjoy our lives together and in this, we prevail. It is easy for us to talk and find things to entertain each other and find fun ways to recreate. We are blessed in our relationship and this makes fun.

Another aspect is the Spiritual disconnect. Staying plugged in to any ministry is impossible in this traveling realm. We are always traveling so we find a new church every place that we go. We are able to watch online, but that is not quite the same. Overtime, we crave the Spiritual milk that comes from being a part of a Christian community with worship music, praise and God led sermons. I love to speak but I also love to listen. My soul cries out for spiritual growth and companionship.

But….despite it all, this is the path of obedience and service to the One who brought us life and saved our family in more ways than I wish to recall here. I mean real life miracles from lives of torment and regret brought to life and reborn into people that we were meant to be in a life that we are rebuilding to be what God had planned type stuff.

So, this journey is one that we cannot stop until He plants us somewhere. It is what He asked us to do. It doesn’t matter how we define it. It doesn’t matter how it goes, what we miss, how we sacrifice or how much it costs, really. We don’t got this. HE’s got this. Therefore, we go… like the energizer bunny… we just keep on going.

Better to Receive?

            

Today, my husband was in line at the grocery store unloading his cart, while I made my way to him through the line. Apparently, he began to talk about his coffee purchase to the woman behind him without looking up to see that it wasn’t me. They laughed as I pulled up with our second grocery cart and edged passed her. She told me about my husband’s humorous conversation with her and that she responded, “I would be happy to be your wife if you have the right checkbook.” To which I laughed and said to her, “Well, you won’t be happy with it. Neither of us for money. We are missionaries.”

(Now, you must understand that this was the easiest and quickest way for me to explain what we are and do. We volunteer to make life easier for those that serve God, as we also serve the mission that He has called us to. The word sounds so odd when applied to us, but it is reality.)

Anyway… she immediately insisted that she pay for our groceries and, even impatiently, had no more time to listen to our quest or see the pictures of the bus because unbeknownst to my husband, she had offered to pay for the groceries and I did not act fast enough to tell him this so he was already paying. She was exasperated at me and the whole thing was a little confusing and comical. She was so upset that I had said, “Oh, no, that is very kind of you but not necessary.” This woman was upset as if I intentionally didn’t tell Tom that she wanted to pay. But really, I was as surprised as she, if not more because he almost always moves aside and lets me pay at the debit machine.

2 Cor. 9:7: “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

Now here is the thing, we could have used that help. We only get a half retirement from my state job, which isn’t enough to get us through considering all of the expenses and costs. We haven’t worked for pay in several months but have been using our savings. (Which we are blessed to have saved.)

We continued to purchase materials to complete the inside of the bus, which is now almost done. We bought bus tires for an arm and a leg though we got a great deal. We had to sell our car, trailer and bike for less than they were worth to purchase a towable car. (Which has a funny rubber smell in the engine and burns a quart every 700 miles) We bought the equipment to tow the car behind the bus.

We are in the process of trying to rent our house in Casa Grande so that we do not have that financial burden. (An investment and a blessing even if we aren’t living there.) We still need to paint the outside of the bus before we go to other states. We must paint it ourselves, due to the cost ($10,000), which also will take major man hours and money to buy a decent sprayer and materials. (Have I said that we are old but not old enough for real retirement? When God calls, you listen.) We still live and sleep in our bus in preparation for the next mission trip to Oregon. (We will again be ministering and being maintenance for a Christian non-profit there, as well as me taking on another volunteer job for another non-profit for children that needs excel help.)

So far we are blessed to not have had to pay for camping in the bus, thanks to dispersed free camping, a swap meet property and a friend’s driveway.)

So here is the thing… I thought about this after our encounter with this lovely woman. Even if I should say yes, how do I humbly say yes to such an offer without feeling poor or too prideful? I always tell my kids, when I try to give them help, that they are stealing my blessing. Plus I bully them with guilt and I win. But this is different. Isn’t it?

God may have sent her to us in that moment to help and I declined. God may have wanted her to learn or feel something from that transaction and I blocked it. God may have wanted me to learn something about that moment and I missed it… or did I?

Prov. 19:17: “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.”

James 1:17: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

I think I found something else that I am not good at. I am not good at humbling myself to accept charity. I don’t have the mind set. I don’t know the words. I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that and feel okay with it and yet, God does send others to help us. I think if I were really hurting, I would probably say yes. If I were doing it for others in need, I wouldn’t hesitate. So, in this way, I must figure out a way to simply allow others to help.

Needless to say, she insisted on an address to send a check, which I do not have. All I could do is give her my “The Bus of Hope” business card and a hug. She didn’t care about that. I think I offended her. And now my heart is heavy.

Things that aren’t… Updated

   

I was driving late at night from Maricopa, Arizona up into the mountains to Taylor to surprise my husband who didn’t expect me until the next day. He had told me that night time was the worst for him and our girls. (Three Chihuahuas that we take everywhere.)  I spent the time listening to worship songs when the radio would come in. The rest of the time I was praising God out loud, because I could, for my daughter’s sobriety from opiate addiction and all of the blessings that he has given me, the beauty of the drive coming down, the people and things that I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with so far. I thanked God for all of the things that He has done and the so many more things that He did that went unseen. This was a loooong conversation.

At one point, I could not get my car to go more than 60 miles an hour up this hill. My car is a beast. It can take any hill and terrain like a champ. It is a Kia Sportage and the best of its 4wd kind. It does not wimp out at hills. Why, going down the hill it was loaded with an old maple desk weighing 100 lbs easy and a bunch of other stuff that we had driven everywhere with because it was easier than loading and unloading it. Why wouldn’t it speed up? It was late at night. I hate to drive in the dark. But I just gave up and settled in at that speed.

I continued my conversation with God. I thanked Him for all of the little things that we do not know that He does for us behind the scenes. The things that aren’t. I naturally can’t give you examples because they didn’t happen. But let me give it some thought…

As I was nearing Payson, I came around a corner at about 65 miles per hour and saw two cars pulled over to the right side of the road. In a split second decision, as is our law, I moved to the fast left lane so as not to endanger them. Little did I realize in that instant, that I just made a critical error. I endangered myself. I immediately saw a huge elk lying in the middle of the left lane that I had changed to. I swerved right to avoid it but ran over its massive head with a huge THUMP THUMP of my wheels. Naturally my heart was racing. In that moment as I passed the cars that had pulled over I saw the front end damage to the first one. It had just happened! I just kept repeating the same phrase, “Oh my God, Oh my God!” Yes, indeed. Oh my God. This is one of those things that seem like it is but it isn’t. This is a ‘thing that aren’t.’ J I could have hit its body! I could have had a flat, car damage, a collision, or worse! Nothing. My beast of a car just kept on going.

I could have been the one. I could have smashed my only car up by hitting that elk. I could be stranded at 8:00 pm in the dark, off the side of the road, or worse. But GOD… Remember that hill that I couldn’t seem to conquer earlier in the trip? If I had been able to speed it up to 65 or so, I may have hit the elk! My husband and I are volunteers with no current income, just our savings. We are trying to rent our home in Casa Grande and continue to our next volunteer place. We can’t commit until the house is rented. We have to be frugal to afford this volunteer lifestyle. Smashing our only car would not be frugal.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18: “For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.”

My daughter dying of an overdose would not be good. After years of opiate addiction, she finally broke free. The ‘thing that wasn’t’ for her would be the loss of her house, her kids, her life… someone else’s life. But God allowed her to lose her job (unjust reason by the way) and gave her the insight to go to detox in her ‘free time.’ He had been compelling her to do it, but she had a job and responsibilities. So when she lost her job. A new door was opened. She knew what He was telling her to do. What seemed like one thing was really for another. She obeyed and is more than two weeks free of bondage!

Years ago, I was compelled to report certain things in my job. I knew what God wanted me to do. I knew the right thing to do to affect change and make things better for everyone equally. But, in truth, I loved the position, money and the security, so I let someone, a Christian, talk me out of reporting. I was too honest about my concerns and said so on a few occasion. I should have reported things, first, like God compelled me to but I didn’t. Instead of being the hunter, I become the hunted. I chose to retire early rather than let them ruin me. I was devastated that people could betray others to that extreme. I was broken, but God meant it for my good. He wanted me out of there. He told me to leave and to report and I didn’t. So naturally, the inevitable in this dark world happened. Praise the Lord because it changed the course of my life for better, not for worse.

Psalm 140:4: “Keep me safe Lord from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet.”

I had a friend years ago who told me of a time that she was jogging. She was a boxer in training and always ran at night with ear buds in so that she could listen to music. (Not a good thing to do.) One night, she was running hard and had a feeling that someone was watching her. Nothing triggered her instinct, but she just felt it. She decided to cross the street and run there. As she did, she looked back and saw a man come out of the bushes that she was going to run past. She was filled with fear and ran harder as she watched him. But he did something strange. He looked at her in that instant and ran the other way. She never understood that, but her decision to cross the street may have played a part.

Psalm 32:8: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

My husband and I are waiting for direction on where to go next in our service to God. All of the unforeseen circumstances that have occurred are delaying our trip and causing us confusion. Our renter changed her mind twice, our bus needed to be finished inside, we need to paint the outside (ourselves) before we drive it in other states… but one thing just happened that has us in limbo.

I have squamous cancer cells again. I was supposed to go get checked in a couple of areas related to my last cancer surgery but didn’t. I just didn’t have time. I have had 20 or so potential basil or squamous cancers that have been frozen. I have had four surgeries, three of which were squamous cells, one rather deep and one of those rather intricate in placement. I have been having issues in the intricate area and what seems like minor changes in skin here and there that indicate that I have more cancer cells, but I chose to ignore it. I always tell God that if He needs me to go to the doctor, He has to hit me with a brick.

James 1: 5-6: “If any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

When we moved to New Mexico, we couldn’t get our health insurance changed over. I knew then, only months later, that I needed to go in again to have some removed. In order to go to the doctor, we have to go to Flagstaff.  It isn’t convenient or cheap and it is cold there now. Because of our rental house, we ended up in Taylor AZ only two hours away. Hmmmm So then, about two months or so ago, I get this red mark on my chest. When I lay on my side it feels like it is stabbing me. I have been hoping I got a sticker from hiking. My husband looked with a magnifier and said it was time to go to the cancer doctor again. There’s my brick. That I cannot ignore, right?

This again changes the course of our journey and delays it. I can’t wait to see for what purpose. I do have faith.

I have an appointment for the primary care physician on the 8^th. On the 10^th, we have to go to Casa Grande to ready the house and give tours until it is rented. We should be back to Taylor by the 24^th (?) to go to the specialists by ???? This is uncertain. We plan and God laughs, right? Just pray for my health and our direction as we trust in Him to provide.

Proverbs 16:9: “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

The things that are unseen, the things that aren’t because God steps in and slows time, or compels you to act or not to act or puts people in your life for a reason…. If all those things that we see, and are blessed with, are to be praised, so are those millions of times that things never happen… things that aren’t. The angel warriors that battle for us, the times that God compels us, or our cars are slowed down, or we lose our jobs, or we change our direction for no apparent reason, things look one way, but are truly the other. Never doubt that His good will is at work in your life when you are living in His good grace and mercy. We must praise Him for all that is seen and things that aren’t seen because we can be assured that He is at work.

Psalm 48:14: “For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end.”

2/15/19 Update: My husband and I decided on Oregon Teen Challenge. We were going back and forth about it when we decided to spent time with our kids in Black Canyon city before we commit to far away. We needed an answer from them about the power pole first. 

Literally, the last day of our time with our family, Teen Challenge Monterey Bay emailed. Now, I never look at email, and I never look over my spam folder. I just delete it. But this day, 30 minutes after it was sent to me, I read TCMB's email and immediately gave him my number. Less than an hour, we made plans to go visit the very first Teen Challenge that we had contacted back in May when our journey began.

When we pulled up to the Rescue Mission on Railroad Avenue, aptly named, my human instinct was... where will we park the bus, how will we sleep near the tracks, is this a safe neighborhood, this may not work out so well. But led by the Spirit, we interviewed with the Executive Director and Program director and a student and fell in love with the mission of true mission of love. We were volunteers serving temporarily and they asked for a long term commitment. And I had just written about how hard it is to be on the road, disconnected and adrift.

While contemplating our lives and when to contact Oregon, it turns out their limitations on how long we could stay made the trip there too costly. We felt that our decision was confirmed by God. And we serve along side TCMB now, long term, in California in one of the most loving environments ever. We serve a homeless shelter, discipleship program for the broken and a place where people follow the Spirit of God.

Once again, a wrong turn, one delay or two and God put us where we are supposed to be, not where we were going. How amazing is that?

Through the eyes of children

[Written for the women of Teen Challenge, but just as good for anyone]

Tom and I had a very heartbreaking time in the line at Walmart a week or so ago. We were in line behind a little baby, about 4-6 months old. Despite being in line for about ten minutes and playing peek-a-boo with this baby, she did not change her expression. She sat staring at us with complete apathy while slowly sucking on a Funion. This baby was with a male who seemed broken by life and in total darkness. He talked fast through broken or missing teeth, his complexion marked by scars with tattoos on every part of his body and a Mohawk. The woman, though we spent the entire time talking to and playing with her baby, never once looked at us or the baby. She kept her head down and only looked at the young man.

In these moments when our Christ like behavior is supposed to be to love them all like Christ did, I can admit our weakness was solely to rescue that child and take her home and show her love and happiness. The parents, if that is who they were, took a back seat. Frankly, at the time, their story was secondary. They did not matter near as much.

I kept seeing my grandson, Gabriel. He was the same age, sitting on my daughter’s floor, staring at the TV with no interaction at all. Surrounded by parties and inattention, he couldn’t smile either. He was a fixture; a small, frail fixture that simply interrupted her life style. Only in his case, Tom could get him to smile after a while.

How many of you have kids? You know that they mimic what they see. They learn not by what you say, but by what you do. You can tell a child that something is wrong, like smoking, but if you are doing it, they want to emulate you.

Have you seen this commercial? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AcWo3gbtBk 

Ask yourself:

·        What these children are witnessing on a daily basis?

·        How do you think they are feeling ?

·        What lessons they might take from it?

·        What their choices might be in the future because of what they learned?

·        Who is to blame? Do you blame the children?

Matthew 18:6 says: But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Think about this for a minute… These are minor level situations that these children are witness to… but what about the stuff that we have survived? Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, neglect, abandoned, betrayed by brothers, sisters, parents in the most horrific way…. And worse yet.

What might they become, in this world of darkness, from being buried in sin and depravity?

If you were to look at your childhood, what did you take from it? What darkness and light did you emulate? Reflect on this for a minute. We will get back to it.

Children are supposed to learn to love, effective communication, loyalty, patience, discernment…. They should know how to think critically, make smart decisions, have morals and values that create a sense of pride…. They need structure, love, stable relationships, and discipline in order to mature and become who they were meant to be.

Prov 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Due 6:6-7: And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Here we have children who are learning, by example, the wrong way to be. They emulate those that are not living life in the light. They aren’t learning the tools that they need to survive in the real world. They are simply getting by on what they learned.

My story: wild dogs, unwanted, no structure, no parenting, no supervision, parents drinking and fighting, adult children locking us out, looking for escape at ten… just wishing that we could move in with our friends families. Seeking love in all of the wrong places-marrying too early and choosing wrong.

We all crave attention and fear rejection. We can say that we don’t and we convince ourselves that we don’t but the reality is, we are living, breathing examples of the flesh that needs love and attention, praise and appreciation.

That poor baby that we saw will likely lead a lonely sorrowful life. She will make bad choices with the only tools that she was given. If you look at her ten years from now, what might her life be like? Assuming her story is what it is, could we look at her and say that she was fully informed and knew right from wrong when she made whatever choices she made?

The bible says in Eph 4:32: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Mat 6:14-15: For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

What if she became a drinker? What if her friends offered her drugs and she takes them to fit in? What if she is in an abusive relationship and becomes an alcoholic to avoid the pain? What if she becomes a prostitute because her body doesn’t matter anymore because she has already been used and abused? What if she kills someone out of fear or anger because reaction is her way of dealing with life. Thought is an after thought? Do we love her anyway? Do we forgive her? Do we feel sorry for her? Or do we convict her all over again?

Like it or not, her parents had a story too. I come around to that because they obviously did not have the ideal like where hope blossomed and effective communication skills were utilized. I judged them harshly because of that poor child but who am I to do that? They deserve my love and God’s forgiveness just as Anastacia does. They have a story too. They are broken too. They are lost too.

When Christ hung on the cross, His words were Luke 23:34:  Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

“Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” THIS says it all. Children learn the wrong ways and pass it on to their children who pass it on to their children and so on. Generational curses, if you will.

Who were your examples? Your captures? Who were your oppressors? Have you forgiven them?

You see, in talking to many of you… you spend a lot of time on your brokenness and who you must forgive. Your hearts try hard to line up with scripture and forgive others as Christ forgave you. But I know your secrets. I know the one person that you still struggle to forgive. I know how you beat her up in your mind. I know how you doubt her ability and salvation. I know how you question her calling and purpose and even sometimes her salvation. I know that while you would fall on the floor to forgive others, you still think that does not apply to this person. And so do I… that is why I know your secret. I do the same thing.

We use the forgiveness passages all of the time to tell ourselves to forgive others but do you really really forgive yourselves?

Do you still see yourself as the person you once were?

Do you still see the mistakes that you made?

Do you still envision the people that you hurt and the bad things that you chose?

The Word says that you 2 Cor 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Rom 6:3-4: Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

STOP! You can forgive the little child who doesn’t know any better. You can forgive the parents who didn’t learn any better. You can visualize other’s lives by what they do and imagine the horror that they suffered to make them the miserable wretches that they are…

The bible says love others as yourself… and you have… now I say… LOVE yourself as you love others! Understand it isn’t what you did, it is what you do. It isn’t who you were, it is who you are in Christ. You have repented. You have been forgiven. There is nothing more to do. What you think you lack, He will give you to do all good works in His name. It is not within our power. It is His plan and His power.

Just simply follow and obey. It is that simple. He loves you the way you are… warts and all

Take out your garbage!

                                         

I had a dream the other night about the garbage being full. It was such a strange dream for me. I don’t usually have, or remember, dreams. Scholars would dispute whether we always do or don’t dream, but for me, IF I dream, I rarely remember them. I am sure that age plays a factor in remembering. As soon as my eyes crinkle open and I drag myself to a sitting position, my thought processes turn to the day’s events. And that sounds something like this:  “God help me today, I really need coffee, I need a shower to wake me up, I am hungry and oh, yea, good morning, love.”

Once the day’s thoughts start floating in, all else is history. I would be lucky to remember my name let alone a dream. The bible talks about dreams in several places. We know that sometimes He uses dreams to warn or guide us. In Acts 2:17 it says “‘And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams;”I am not an old man, but I believe we all can have God given dreams.

So that morning, I woke up so sullen and concerned. I asked God what it meant but felt such a strong foreboding in my soul. He led me back to our past discussions and sermons about people dumping their garbage on us… or us on them. In my dream, I saw images of the garbage over flowing and Him telling me that it is not over yet. I sensed this feeling that there was nothing that I could do. And being a doer, I felt so weighted down by that. I knew that more is yet to come and that we must be prepared. I still have no real or practical answer to my question, “What does that mean?” All I can do is be watchful and continue to give it to Him just as His Word says: 

Psalm 55:22: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

We all carry garbage. We even share it with others, whether they like it or not, as if they don’t carry enough weight of their own. We live in an environment where we are usually very openly broken, wounded and desperately trying to heal.  But sometimes, we don’t want others to know that we still have garbage that we are dealing with. We would probably like to scream and yell and get it all out without repercussions but we never feel that secure, do we? After all, depending on how long we have been here, we ALL still have garbage that we are trying to work through.

But garbage is simply the wounds and hurt inside us that poisons our spirits and MUST be rooted out. This is why we continue to struggle with the same issues over and over again. We are not doing the work to uproot the real problem; to find out where the smell is coming from. 

James 4: 1-2 says:  “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

Galatians 5:19-21 says: “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

You see, even the simplest of ways that the garbage surfaces can damage your relationship with God and our destination. We try to conceal it, bury it and pretend that we are okay. We have different reasons for pretending. We want to appear ‘together’ or ‘strong.’ Some of us pretend because we don’t want anyone else to get hurt by it or try to carry the weight of it for us. Some of us pretend because we don’t want anyone else to know that we still struggle with sin and unforgiveness. Some of us foolishly believe that we are ‘beyond that’ because of our position, our years, our level of salvation… whatever it is, it is all just a lie. We all struggle against the principalities of this world daily. 

Ephesians 6:11-12: ^“ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places”

But garbage has a way of smelling, doesn’t it? It just plain stinks. And no matter how we try to hide it, the stench of it permeates our very souls. We can only bare it so long before it starts to seep out. If you need a visual, it is kind of like a rotting piece of fruit basking in the Light. Eventually, it bloats with the chemical rot and starts to ooze out. It festers like a wound. It will escape any way that it can.

People will handle their garbage in different ways. We might let it out when we think no one is looking. We may let it out when we think we are with someone who shares the same level of garbage that we do. We dump it out in a negative way on those that we think are less deserving than we are. There is someone you hold beneath your opinion of yourself and you enjoy dumping on them. You get pleasure out of digging the needle in because they seem to have it together, or they seem to be falling apart or they…fill in the blanks. We use our words, our emotions and our actions to let it seep out a little at a time. Or in the best of times, we utilize the Teen Challenge training programs to dig deeper, find out where it came from and replace the lies and poisonous trash with God’s truth. But we don’t all do that 100% of the time, do we? We are, after all, human. We are cautioned by the Word of God though aren’t we?

Ephesians 4:31-32: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

We cannot hide the stench of our wounds, our garbage. Least of all, we cannot hide it from others who are living with it and know what that looks like. It comes out in sinful ways. It erupts in dark thoughts and words and deeds that are not of God. The bible tells us that the eyes are the lamp of your body. 

Matthew 6:22-24:“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,^[a] your whole body will be full of light. ²³ But if your eyes are unhealthy,^[b] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! ²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Ephesians 5:12-13: ^“It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”

You think you can handle it but in reality, it is only weighing you down and making your heart heavier. The bottom line is, you truly need to take out your own garbage. I know just the place for it!

1  Sam 2:8: “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the garbage pile. He seats them with noblemen and gives them a throne of honor. For the foundations of the earth are the Lord's; He has set the world on them.”

The bible tells us to love others as our selves. I say, love others MORE than yourselves. We must dig deeper to learn what our garbage is and why we haven’t burned it out yet. We need to seek counsel and look to God and our staff to walk through whatever it is that makes us permeate the putrid smell of poison. Stop believing the lies of the devil who wants you to believe that you are better or worse or never going to change.

Listen, here is some thoughts about your garbage that might help you put it in perspective and deal with it in small doses.

1. Don’t wait until it piles up. Take it out one piece at a time
2. Write a secret journal of all of the junk in your garbage.
3. Pick one piece that is causing the most problems and pick it apart.
4. Ask yourself:

a.       Who caused it?

b.      What happened to make it painful?

c.       When did this happen?

d.      Where did this start?

e.       Why did I buy into this?

f.       How trustworthy is their perspective?

Then ask yourself:

a.       Who can I turn to? GOD!                                           Psalms 147: 3

b.      What can I replace it with? The Truth/Scripture         Romans 15:4

c.       When will I be healed from this? Ask                        Matthew 7:7

d.      Where do I search for answers? The Bible                 2 Timothy 3:16

e.       Why was it so hard to remove it? Unforgiveness       Hebrews 12:15

f.       How do I move forward? Trust                                  2 Timothy 1:7

Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 15:4: “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

Matthew 7:7: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,”

Hebrews 12:15: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up and causes you trouble, or many of you will become defiled”

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation^[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”