[Written for the women of Teen Challenge, but just as good for anyone]
Tom and I had a very heartbreaking time in the line
at Walmart a week or so ago. We were in line behind a little baby, about 4-6
months old. Despite being in line for about ten minutes and playing peek-a-boo
with this baby, she did not change her expression. She sat staring at us with
complete apathy while slowly sucking on a Funion. This baby was with a male who
seemed broken by life and in total darkness. He talked fast through broken or
missing teeth, his complexion marked by scars with tattoos on every part of his
body and a Mohawk. The woman, though we spent the entire time talking to and
playing with her baby, never once looked at us or the baby. She kept her head
down and only looked at the young man.
In these moments when our Christ like behavior is
supposed to be to love them all like Christ did, I can admit our weakness was
solely to rescue that child and take her home and show her love and happiness. The
parents, if that is who they were, took a back seat. Frankly, at the time,
their story was secondary. They did not matter near as much.
I kept seeing my grandson, Gabriel. He was the same
age, sitting on my daughter’s floor, staring at the TV with no interaction at
all. Surrounded by parties and inattention, he couldn’t smile either. He was a
fixture; a small, frail fixture that simply interrupted her life style. Only in
his case, Tom could get him to smile after a while.
How many of you have kids? You know that they mimic
what they see. They learn not by what you say, but by what you do. You can tell
a child that something is wrong, like smoking, but if you are doing it, they
want to emulate you.
Have you seen this commercial? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AcWo3gbtBk
Ask yourself:
·
What these children are witnessing on a
daily basis?
·
How do you think they are feeling ?
·
What lessons they might take from it?
·
What their choices might be in the
future because of what they learned?
·
Who is to blame? Do you blame the
children?
Matthew 18:6 says: But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it
would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and
to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
Think about this for a
minute… These are minor level situations that these children are witness to…
but what about the stuff that we have survived? Verbal, emotional and physical
abuse, neglect, abandoned, betrayed by brothers, sisters, parents in the most
horrific way…. And worse yet.
What might they become,
in this world of darkness, from being buried in sin and depravity?
If you were to look at
your childhood, what did you take from it? What darkness and light did you
emulate? Reflect on this for a minute. We will get back to it.
Children are supposed
to learn to love, effective communication, loyalty, patience, discernment….
They should know how to think critically, make smart decisions, have morals and
values that create a sense of pride…. They need structure, love, stable
relationships, and discipline in order to mature and become who they were meant
to be.
Prov 22:6: Train up a
child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Due 6:6-7: And these
words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them
diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Here we have children
who are learning, by example, the wrong way to be. They emulate those that are
not living life in the light. They aren’t learning the tools that they need to
survive in the real world. They are simply getting by on what they learned.
My story: wild dogs,
unwanted, no structure, no parenting, no supervision, parents drinking and
fighting, adult children locking us out, looking for escape at ten… just
wishing that we could move in with our friends families. Seeking love in all of
the wrong places-marrying too early and choosing wrong.
We all crave attention
and fear rejection. We can say that we don’t and we convince ourselves that we
don’t but the reality is, we are living, breathing examples of the flesh that
needs love and attention, praise and appreciation.
That poor baby that we
saw will likely lead a lonely sorrowful life. She will make bad choices with
the only tools that she was given. If you look at her ten years from now, what
might her life be like? Assuming her story is what it is, could we look at her
and say that she was fully informed and knew right from wrong when she made
whatever choices she made?
The bible says in Eph
4:32: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you.
Mat 6:14-15: For if you
forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses.
What if she became a
drinker? What if her friends offered her drugs and she takes them to fit in?
What if she is in an abusive relationship and becomes an alcoholic to avoid the
pain? What if she becomes a prostitute because her body doesn’t matter anymore
because she has already been used and abused? What if she kills someone out of fear
or anger because reaction is her way of dealing with life. Thought is an after
thought? Do we love her anyway? Do we forgive her? Do we feel sorry for her? Or
do we convict her all over again?
Like it or not, her
parents had a story too. I come around to that because they obviously did not
have the ideal like where hope blossomed and effective communication skills
were utilized. I judged them harshly because of that poor child but who am I to
do that? They deserve my love and God’s forgiveness just as Anastacia does.
They have a story too. They are broken too. They are lost too.
When Christ hung on the
cross, His words were Luke
23:34: Jesus said, "Father, forgive
them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his
clothes by casting lots.
“Forgive them, for they
do not know what they are doing” THIS says it all. Children learn the wrong
ways and pass it on to their children who pass it on to their children and so
on. Generational curses, if you will.
Who were your examples?
Your captures? Who were your oppressors? Have you forgiven them?
You see, in talking to
many of you… you spend a lot of time on your brokenness and who you must
forgive. Your hearts try hard to line up with scripture and forgive others as
Christ forgave you. But I know your secrets. I know the one person that you
still struggle to forgive. I know how you beat her up in your mind. I know how
you doubt her ability and salvation. I know how you question her calling and
purpose and even sometimes her salvation. I know that while you would fall on
the floor to forgive others, you still think that does not apply to this
person. And so do I… that is why I know your secret. I do the same thing.
We use the forgiveness
passages all of the time to tell ourselves to forgive others but do you really
really forgive yourselves?
Do you still see
yourself as the person you once were?
Do you still see the
mistakes that you made?
Do you still envision
the people that you hurt and the bad things that you chose?
The Word says that you 2 Cor 5:17: Therefore,
if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold,
the new has come.
Rom 6:3-4: Do you not know
that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his
death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that,
just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too
might walk in newness of life.
STOP! You can forgive the little child
who doesn’t know any better. You can forgive the parents who didn’t learn any
better. You can visualize other’s lives by what they do and imagine the horror
that they suffered to make them the miserable wretches that they are…
The bible says love others as yourself…
and you have… now I say… LOVE yourself as you love others! Understand it isn’t
what you did, it is what you do. It isn’t who you were, it is who you are in
Christ. You have repented. You have been forgiven. There is nothing more to do.
What you think you lack, He will give you to do all good works in His name. It
is not within our power. It is His plan and His power.
Just simply follow and obey. It is that
simple. He loves you the way you are… warts and all
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