Performative

Performative: (Thanks Angel for sharing this word with me.) ********************************* A new term, to me. Essentially meaning, "performative acts or behavior intending to show others how they wish to be seen by others rather than who they really are." ************************************* If you think this isn't you, then read it and dismiss. But give your life an honest look, if only for your kid's sake. ********************************* Question: How long do you and your kids have their phones and electronic devices in their hands? Are you able to put it down and forget it for a half hour, hour or two or more? (Be honest, I have seen many of you that can't) Do your kids whine and complain when they can't have them? If I look at a tiny snapshot of your lives on social media, I would only see what you want me to see, likely not what is truly happening in your life. Your snapshot may make others think that you have it all together, while, in fact, your relationships, your home and life is falling down around you. ********************************** Some people know the truth because they know your life. But most think "oh my gosh how sweet" because they don't. You may also post something sad or dramatic to gain sympathy. And sometimes, people get hostile about things but don't explain what is truly happening, again, for attention. This is a new and pretty common plea for attention since the advent of social media. ******************************** I would ask you to nurture your relationships, not your social media pages. Put down your phones and tablets. Spend the appropriate amount of time with your kids, on your home, with your animals, on your responsibilities WITHOUT electronic devises or media attention for doing what is supposed to be normal in your life. ********************************** Do you think that you could be affected by this? To find out, do an experiment: ***************************** Lock away your electronic devices for three (3) days. (All of your household, children included.) Lock them up, out of sight, if needed. Only answer the phone out of necessity. No long texts, chats, phone calls, NOTHING that isn't essential to your life. To be sure, keep televisions off unless watching programs together when all else is complete. *********************** Spend your time on this: *Talk with your kids. * Have the kids do their routine chores. * Do YOUR chores. (If you don't assign chores, do it now-but make sure you have some too. The household is your primary responsibility, not your kids.) * Help them with homework. Make sure they did or are doing it. * Spend play time with your animals. * Make a lovely sit down dinner. * Have a real dinner conversation about their day. Talk about what they value most. How they feel about social media, likes and ignores. Friends. Activities. If old enough, drugs, boyfriends, etc * Clean up thoroughly after dinner. * Check their rooms and chores. * Do an activity together. * Send them to bed. * Have a nice glass of wine to wind down. REPEAT **************************** Not only should this bring your house and kids in order after a week, but it should build your bond and expand their insight into the damage of social media. It should also help you gain control over the things that seem to be getting away from you because you didn't notice how much time you spent with your electronics instead of your life. *************************** We are losing our ability to focus on our real lives, in favor of the facade that we display in the media. Please. For your kids sake and that of our world, your world even, focus on what you should be doing, not on what might gain likes and teach your kids the same. ******************** Again, if this isn't you, great, but if it is.... this is your chance to regain control of your life.