The House is swept clean

Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I love a clean house. Organized, dust free, no dirty dishes or laundry piling up, clean floors, homey but prettily designed. Perhaps I clean too much... ***************************************** I have swept the house clean. I wandered far and found myself in darkness, again. I have not kept my light with me. Perhaps due to some worldly sense of rebellion and angst I suppose…. I really don’t know why, and, for that alone, I have become full of darkness. I am surrounded by the phantoms of the past, the whispers of the present and the doubts of the future. Cast into the old sea of forlorn wondering and twisted turmoils of life itself. I am bound to my own self doubts, my humanness and mistrust of others; such things that I thought were cast off forever. It whirls around my head and heart like a tempest and fills my stomach with such bile. I know, too, that I am not alone in this for no one who knows the Truth and walks away from it’s sanctuary can be in the light for long. Colorful words for such a dark colorless place to reside. ******************************************* Oh, I talk to Him plenty, but it becomes far and few between. I love Him always and am His, such as I am… but I feel that I have dwindled like a raisin in the sun becoming a dried up shell of who I should be. ********************************************** So, after much torment, I reach for my bible for comfort. Pleading for the closeness and sanctity that I used to feel. I come to James. ******************************************* James 1:1-7: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. ****************************************** If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways.” ***************************************** Therein lies my problem. How ‘bout you? When I ask for guidance, I ask in doubt. I see no earthly reason why I, a sinner, a slacker, a sloth, a grumbler, a hypocrite, a wandering soul, should be deemed worthy of any assistance at all in this life. Oh, I don’t mean that I have doubts in His ability, no indeed. I have doubts in my own position in this world, my deserve-ed-ness (my own word), so to speak, to receive and accept help of any Heavenly kind. I am two-spirited, as it were. I believe with my whole heart in my God, my King and Christ Jesus but also, I harbor my old spirit of brokenness and doubt. Again, not in Him, but in this world, in my position in it, my worthiness, my plight, my… usefulness. *************************************** I wandered away quite willing to move on with my new life, exploring other Countries, holding close those I love dearly, restoring our empty, worn home and preparing for a future of idleness. In fact, I swept my house too clean. For that, I was visited by many ghosts that I had long since rid myself of. They come ten fold now because there is an empty shell that I failed to keep stocked with faith and light. They like, no- they LOVE the vast darkness that we prepared for them. ************************************* James 1: 13-15: “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil and He Himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” ************************************* You see, too much of a good thing can be sinful. We develop a higher desire for that thing and place it before all else, including our time with God. We fill ourselves with other things slowly and totally unaware-or we kid ourselves and say we were unaware when, in fact, we knew full well what we were choosing. Good things really, can be a distraction and become an idol, too you know. It is a gradual decent. Our family takes precedence, our home remodels, our vacations, yes, even our Christian duties and or status… can all become more important than God. ************************************* Experiences can become a division point, too. Negative experiences in the church, with specific ‘Christian people’, even pastors or priests can affect our walk. But here is the thing… are we NOT smart enough by now to realize that the evil one uses such distractions for his purposes, to distance us from God… the God that has a higher calling on our lives and you would think that we would get that by now?? *********************************** Okay, so we are all human and NONE, in fact, are worthy. That isn’t a reflection on God, or Faith or Christ. It is a reflection of our sinful nature. Duh! ********************************* We only notice when we hit bottom and our insides feel empty, our lives feel hollow, our worries override our sleep and we fall fully prey to the turmoil that is this world. This is truly how it happens, folks. We left our peace and chose to be bobbing out there, alone, in the sea without our life vest. (Our life vest being our Light vest; being God). Such is my life. Is it yours too? ******************************* You may recall, if you have read anything from before, I always warned my students that life in the world is harder than in Adult and Teen Challenge, or any such long term, live-in program. Inside, there are daily devotions, prayers, Christian education, Christian mentors and everything revolves around His word and desires. But once you graduate and leave, you are out in the real world. The world isn’t centered on God. It has its own set of rules and, frankly, none are very Christian. ***************************** In order to survive in this dark world, the student must remain connected to the Word, daily devotions, regular church and Christian connections. If you have trouble getting out to a church, then online it or TV, but, by all means, continue to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord and fill your heart and home with His word. But let it go empty; let it go void of His love, His guidance, His word…. Well then, there now is your empty house for seven more demons to take hold of… or at least 7 times the number that resided there before and more evil than before. You get the idea. *********************************** Matthew 12:43-45: "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation." *************************************** So, if you find yourself, where I am now, simply crack His book, pray and work on getting back in the fold before the evil one notices you've gone and comes after you again… and he will.He always will.