Do as I say, not as I do

I remember growing up parents would say, “Quit filling your head with such nonsense!” In the program, we always stressed the importance of filling up on scripture and all good things so that they do not become empty, wandering, hopeless and feeling alone in the dark world. You see, they came in that way. They spent much of theirs lives fighting that feeling and failing. If you are empty, you crave to fill yourself up with anything to fill that void. And, to be quite frank, it seems to me that we are magnets to the worldly ways, searching for acceptance and meaning in things that would devour us. We have to work at filling ourselves with higher ways of thought. Especially the broken among us. And once they leave program, if they fail to fill themselves up with goodness, then the world will, once again and more fully, devour them. Many souls who failed to remain in the Word, have passed away from the world that they devoured. Matthew 12: 43-45:“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. 45 Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.” In program, we require daily devotions and bible classes. It is important for our students to know that they are not alone. That despite what the world has done, what they, themselves, have done, they are children of God and have simply gotten lost along the way. The fact that they have come to program, the fact that you are reading this now, means that, though you may have turned from Him, He has never left your side. I still tell my Trinity that whenever I get the chance to reach her. Colossians 3:2: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” You will admit, I’m sure, that we tend to search for meaning, for entertainment, for the ‘filling up’ of our minds. Everywhere you look people have their faces in their phones or tablets looking at all kinds of nonsense and believing what they see and read as ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ by today’s standards is NOT necessarily good. People go down all sorts of crazy paths looking for fulfillment. Many paths are wide, but His path is narrow and few will find it. Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Look at the world today. What do you see in the news? What do you experience for yourself? It is so common to see people posting vain photos of their lives; some using their kids as an excuse to do it. We post and report old sayings or something someone else said because we have nothing intelligent to say… so posting something intelligent that someone else says is the thing now. Duck lips photos-they call them ‘selfies,’ are the new norm. As well as shots to show others: ‘see what I did’, ‘look at what a great person I am’ or ‘what I did for someone else’… or even worse, posting about injustices done to you with off handed comments like everyone wants to know your business. It is insanity. Our world is filled with dishonesty and despicable practices that masquerade as normal. Shady business practices, dirty politics, school shootings, all manner of crimes, promiscuity, vanity, overindulgence of our children, lazy parenting, selfishness, greed, filling our body’s with piercings, smoke, drink and drugs… that is all pretty standard in this world but it is NOT good. There is another saying ‘If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.’ In reality it is true. Your head has to be filled with something. “Pick your poison” as they say. So, in program, they learn to look to the bible for comfort and guidance. As old as it is, it is filled with quotes and wisdom and comfort for any situation. Imagine that whenever life throws you a curve ball and causes you pain, your first thought would be the comforting voice of a loved one, instead of ranting and raving on a public forum? Or worse, it is quite common, having no voice of reason in their heads, for people to choose shooting, killing, or hurting others who hurt them. But when you fill your head with righteous, loving things, your heart is comforted in times of trouble. There is a constant reminder of the dangers of not having Christ in your daily life… or in your heart and mind, as we say. 1 Peter 5:8-9: “Be alert and of sober mind. our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” As Trinity used to say to us, “I am not even kidding!” We have witnessed the heart wrenching truth of those who choose darkness over light. One only needs to look at the state of the world to see it. The worst part is we blame everything on someone else, or the world, or the darkness. In the case of children, it may be true. For most times, they do what they can get away with. But in reality people, WE are the cause. It is our choices, or non-choices, it is our examples, it is the way we live and how we fail to live, that creates and equips future generations… or not. We fail to PROTECT them from the world as well as themselves. Our failure to equip them with such strong Christian values and emotionally intelligent choices causes the chaos that we see today. We say, “Do as I say and not as I do.” That is simply OUR justification for OUR lack of setting a righteous example for our children. DON’T fool yourself. They see what we do and listen to the hypocrisy and realize that if it is okay for US to fill in the blanks, then why can’t they? I was with an abusive husband for seven years. I left and tried to return for a little while but ultimately it failed. After landing in the hospital on life support from her husband running her over, my daughter actually said that she might go back to him. Her words cut to the quick. She said something to the affect of, “Mom, you did it. And I need to do it too. I have to make my own choices.” It is our responsibility to teach our children, WITH LOVE, how to make intelligent choices, how to communicate properly with others, how to forgive, how to respond to the real dangers in the world, how to present themselves and why, the reality of good and evil and the battle to maintain our integrity despite the world… all of it, not just feed and water them like plants. But we don’t even plan when to have babies. They are, more likely than not, accidents waiting to happen. And most parents feel burdened by the responsibility of it… yet it is as if they don’t know where they come from. They continue to reap the rewards of intimacy without wanting the responsibility that comes with the result. So we are lax, over-indulgent, neglectful, too stringent, too preoccupied, or robotic in our caring for these beautiful little minds. And we wonder where we went wrong. WE failed to equip them. We teach them how to talk with and about others. We teach them how to react to problems. We teach them how to behave in various situations, with other people, in dating, in relationships, how to discuss problems, how to argue kindly and effectively, how to deal with adversity. It is a scary thought, isn’t it? Because ‘do as I say and not as I do’ never works. Most times they do as you do. 1 Peter 5: 1-4: “To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed:2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. I encourage you to read all of Titus Chapter 2, but here is the most of it: Titus 2: 1-8: “You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. 3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” 11 “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope--the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. 15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”