Broken Vessels

 

God has given me an image of a broken vessel and how the light can shine through the cracks to create a thing of beauty. A beacon of hope and light for others. It is still a broken vessel, imperfect and fragile and yet, He can use it to His greatest glory.

As a human and ‘Christian’, I recognize that there is, and always will be, a great disparity between how I am and how I should be. The battle wages inside me every single day. And, as time passed and God freed me from what I considered serious human sinfulness, I realize that the battle to refrain from those physical and/or visible sins was not half as hard as the inner battle that rages every day. Now, doing the work that I do, I see that all of us suffer from the same thing.

2 Cor 10: 4-5: "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

It seems that there are, essentially and for the sake of simplicity, two camps. There are those of us who will always see ourselves as flawed and human, struggling against our own human nature and never achieving perfection. We never quite feel that we have achieved the status of “Christian.” (I will explain, don’t panic) That is to say, we are believers and give our whole hearts to God, but we recognize, inside ourselves, the raging battle between good and evil. We can never be totally at peace in this world because we see our own imperfections and want to change. I am, and always have been, my own worst critic.

Rom 7:15-20: “ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

I have learned to be candid and transparent with others about my struggles because I want them to recognize that I, like them, am still fighting the fight and it is a lifelong issue, being human. One of the more difficult hurdles to my becoming a believer was the fact that I saw those who tried to save me as ‘perfect’ and unflawed … with no struggles in life. I knew that I could never be like them. I felt that I would never be good enough to stand with them. I never want to portray that type of “I have made it and am fine” perfection to anyone in this world. I am and always will be a awork in progress.

1 Pet. 5:8-9: "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

There are those who wear the label like a crown and proclaim themselves fully healed with nothing more to attain. They are not transparent with their own sinfulness but portray a simplistic view of Christianity that sets themselves apart. They are uncomfortable with admitting their struggles. Perhaps they don’t even see the battle that rages inside or how the thoughts we have can destroy them and take them out. Being ‘Christian’ to some, can be like obtaining a promotion in the workplace. They have ‘made it’ and feel that their work is done. Either they deny the battle that rages inside them, or they become blind to their own humanness and comfortable in their hidden sinful nature.

Prov 3:7: “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”

My own brokenness is so evident in how I live my life and my thought processes. In my past, my vessel was filled with dirt and debris… sin, essentially. No light could shine through because I had none in me. I sinned against myself, others, and God with little thought to consequence. I was broken in so many ways and, to fill that brokenness, I became impulsive and self-centered. I heaped more and more dirt and sinfulness into that vessel until it became the darkness.

As God fought with me, and I became a believer, He guided me to wash away the visible/physical sinful nature. It was a struggle that took many years. Not because He isn’t capable of miracles, but because I was human. In my humanness, I could not see His Godliness or understand His power. I doubted His ability to transform ‘someone as unworthy’ as me. I believed it for others, but not me.

Seriously, He chased me like He is chasing you now. If you take the time to stop and listen, you will hear Him guiding you and giving you the strength. But YOU must let go of the idol in your hand and heart and TRUST Him to walk you through it. We ARE our own worst enemy. The first time that I had the strength to trust Him and fight my flesh and then, ultimately win, I cried like a baby. That first time filled me with His power and love and I KNEW that He had heard my cries. From then on, I learned to trust Him completely.

1 Cor. 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

As He took away each temptation, the light began to shine through. Each crack in my vessel, my temple, began to allow the Light, His light to shine through to others. As others saw the Light change me, it gave them hope. As others began to trust Him and shine their light… well, the ripple affect is real.

I am reminded of my daughter, Brandy. When she gave herself to the Lord and my son saw her for the first time after that, he said, essentially, that she glowed with a joy he had never seen in her before. It was inspiring.

Rom 2: 6-8: “He will render to each one according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury.”

In fact, from her addiction and ultimate salvation sprung a well of healing and salvation that rippled through our entire family(s). I truly gave myself to God in a tangible way and no longer rode the fence. I started this blog as a result and then I became a licensed minister. My husband, not a believer at all, gave himself to God and to ministering to the broken. Almost all of our kids have found or strengthened their faith. It continues to transform lives to this day.

So… think about it for a moment. Doesn’t the Light shine best in total darkness? God uses the cracks and brokenness to shine His eternal Light through impure unperfected humanness to give other broken people the Hope and strength to fight through their sinful nature.

It isn’t through our feigned perfection and ‘Christianity’ but through others seeing the miraculous and powerful transformation in our lives. Our humility and loving nature.

Col 1: 13-14: "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

I know that you can hear Him calling you. He chases you in the darkness and tries to save you from yourself, from the enemy who tries to dominate. One step of faith. One thing at a time. Let Him in.