Sunday, December 12, 2021
The Weight of Sin
Saturday, December 11, 2021
The Frog and the Scorpion
Friday, November 12, 2021
Broken and Fixed
Thursday, October 21, 2021
In the Lion's Den Again
How many times have you been in a situation where you felt that you were surely going to fail? Perhaps you had no knowledge, didn’t get training and/or didn’t have the tools that you needed to do the job efficiently. At my age, it has been quite a few. Perhaps that is why I am diligent about taking notes and creating instructions. It has been a necessity in life.
I remember, years ago, I took a contract position with
a hospital in Phoenix. It was a training position. I am not a doctor, nor have
I played one on TV. 😊 In
summary, the job was to train doctor’s and nurses how to use a software system
while they were performing their jobs, including surgery.
Well, long story short, they had a packet 4 inches
thick for us to learn in just two weeks in a classroom with nurses and medical technicians.
Oh, I forgot to mention that our trainer quit in the first week. They had not planned
for that. There was no one else and none of us knew what to do. You could feel
a kind of division in the room initially. One tech was not shy about voicing
why they would pick non-medical personnel to train others on medical software.
This immediately worked on my insecurities, and I asked myself what in the
world I was doing there. But I knew why. I loved training and I needed the job.
I always taught my kids never quit a job unless you have another one.
After a week of spinning our wheels, trying to learn
the material separately, no leadership and some obvious attempts at taking the
wheel, we started working together. I began asking the medical personnel about
things in the material that were medically related, and they began asking us
about aspects of the software. Each learned the other’s strengths and
weaknesses and we helped each other become better. Together, and without a
trainer, we improvised and worked with what we had to become a powerhouse training
group. I even had to overcome my weakness of going into the operating rooms and
seeing blood in order to show the doctor how to administer blood to the patient
in critical situations. When lives are on the line, you tend not to worry about
anything else. I learned so much respect and appreciation for those who work in
the medical field. They truly are warriors on the battlefield of life. I could NOT
have done the job without letting go of my pride, insecurities, fears and
humbling myself to acquiesce to others. Some of us are still friends to this
day.
Like Daniel in the Lion’s den, we didn’t have any worldly
weapons. We had the tools that God gave us to do the job.
2 Cor 12:8-10: “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about
this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for
you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For
the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Or maybe, in the middle of the chaos of your work,
when you think you won’t possibly get it all done, someone needs you right
now for something and you must stop to handle it. You feel overwhelmed,
and maybe a little frustrated at the timing of it all. Someone else’s needs
always seem to be more important than what you are doing.
I have felt that way so many times in life. And I must
admit that there were times that I know that my stress showed through. I have
had deadlines and paperwork and tried so hard to fit what I needed to do in a
neat little time slot with no wiggle room because I just couldn’t afford the
time to waste. I am a bit of a control freak and am self-motivated. I am the
one that can work from home with no supervision and get the job done and take
on extra if need be. But in that realm of finances and must do’s, I tended not
to leave a lot of wiggle room. People were the distraction, not the purpose.
Life, and this ministry, have taught me so very much
about wiggle room. I remember when I first started working here, I was too busy
learning and doing the finance job to stop. There would be baptisms and special
events but I would assume that I was to stay at my task. They would always tell
me to join with everyone else because fellowship is more important. We are
about the students and work can wait. It took a while to adjust to that. I
always felt that I had to confirm it each time. I had to learn to relax my
worldly standards. And the one thing I have learned best is that I must always,
and I do mean always, stop in my tracks to love on those around me no
matter what.
Phil 2:1-11: “So if there is any encouragement in
Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection
and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love,
being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but
in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look
not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this
mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ...”
I can tell you that in those chaotic moments, when
nothing seems to go right, abrasive people seem to test you, your work isn’t
getting done, students are in crisis, and you don’t have the tools that you
think that you need… God is working.
My main regret in life is in the way that I have
failed others, not in what I didn’t get done. I know what it feels like to be
rejected and cast aside. I know that every one of you knows
exactly how that feels. The last thing that I want is to ever hurt someone like
that.
The students are why we are here! I cannot tell you
how many times… yes, I can, EVERY time that someone needed me and I stopped to
love them, it was worth every minute. I will go one further and say that I even
got done what I was supposed to get done without much stress because God showed
ME that He was working through me to help others.
But more than THAT, He is working in me too. I NEED
that time with students and staff just as much as they do because it ignites my
Light and refuels my soul to the fullest. God works in us and blesses us when
we love others before ourselves. ALWAYS.
I know there were even times when I was not where I
wanted to be. I grew anxious and grumbled about that as we tend to do. In all
my wriggling to get free of it, I discovered that I wasn’t there as a punishment,
but I was there because there was an underlying reason why He put me where I
was. Either to stretch me, to help others or to protect me. But trust me… NO,
trust HIM, there is a reason.
Acts 20:35: “In all things I have shown you that by
working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the
Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
My point is, when all chaos hits the fan, it isn’t
that you can’t work through it. God gave you the tools for that. He is asking
you to trust Him in those moments and continue to learn and grow where
you are planted. There is something in that moment of time that He is showing
you. When you stop trying to wriggle free and figure out how to work through it,
He can bless you where you are.
But most important than anything else, when people
need you, STOP and LOVE on them! That is ultimately why we are here on this
earth, in this ministry and as a Christian.
1 Pet 4:10-11: “As each has received a gift, use it to
serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as
one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the
strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified
through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
Tuesday, October 12, 2021
Bone tired and battle worn
Monday, October 11, 2021
Trip over life and spill your tears again?
Sunday, September 26, 2021
Dogs to vomit - Peanut allergies
Worse than that, it seems to be a domino affect in
which all of the players simply choose to lay their lives down rather than do
what it takes to save their own lives, and the lives of their friends, to
maintain their salvation and integrity. People that we deeply love, die.
1 Pet 5:8: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your
adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to
devour.”
When someone has severe allergic reactions to peanuts,
they must do whatever it takes not to inhale or ingest even a minute part of the
peanut for the rest of their lives. If they are exposed to peanuts in any way
shape or form, it can be life threatening to them. It isn’t a matter of likes
or dislikes, it is a matter of life and death to them. If you have ever seen someone
lapse into anaphylactic shock, it is horrific.
Once they have been diagnosed, they live their lives around
the fact that they have a peanut allergy. Because peanuts are everywhere, people
who are allergic know that they must alter their lives accordingly. They must
be aware of the various triggers or catalysts that can take their life, quite
literally, at any given moment.
Triggers are the catalyst to life or death in this
situation. A catalyst is defined as “A substance that causes a chemical reaction
to happen more quickly” or “A person or event that quickly causes change or
action.” You see, a trigger or catalyst can be a substance or a person... and
often is exactly that.
If you have a peanut allergy, you don’t ingest
peanuts. But further, you avoid peanut farms, any place that prepares food with
peanuts or near peanuts. You do whatever it takes to avoid dying. Furthermore,
there is no shame in telling people that you are allergic to nuts. People
around you understand this, and it is quite simple to keep peanuts out of the ‘mix’
when associating. (Okay, tiny pun.) Most people understand it is a matter of
life and death.
I recall years ago, when we were hiking with a few of
our grandkids and our Chihuahuas over a rocky hill at Girl Scout Mountain. Trinity
and I lagged behind, while Tom, Rikayla and Michael were ahead of us with the
dogs. They made it to the top, but just then, Africanized bees attacked Tom and
the kids. He grabbed the kids one by one and ushered them down the hill calling
at us not to come up and to get back down. At the same time, he called our dogs
to follow him but one of them was too scared to move or had trouble. He went in
after her again and received dozens more stings for his trouble. But he brought
them all to safety. Unfortunately, we discovered he might have been allergic
because his face, ears and body were so swollen that you wouldn’t even
recognize him. He was in agony. If he had had a worse allergy, he could have
died. Guess what? Given the chance of running into those hostile bees again, we
avoided the area. In fact, one might say avoiding bees in general would be
wise. Common sense, right?
Most people with allergies have common sense about it.
So do the people who love them and don’t want them to die. People with allergies
learn to adjust their lives around the fact that they are not healthy and must
avoid triggers. It is simply necessary to change the way they live, to live
longer.
Alcoholics know that they not only have to avoid bars,
but they end up having to avoid friends who love bars. They understand what
their triggers are and have discovered that they have to avoid friends who host
get togethers with drinking, smoking and/or drugs. For many alcoholics, when
they just smell a cigarette, it makes them want a drink. It is a trigger’ a
catalyst if you will. Some people have family who revolve every family event
around having a few brews. For this reason, even a person’s closest family and
friends become toxic for them. It isn’t a simple matter of preference here,
people. It is life and death.
So many people have trouble understanding how severe
the alcoholic’s desire to imbibe is and they say things such as “Please come.
You don’t have to drink just because we do. Come on! It will be fun.” And, to
avoid seeming weak, or to avoid offending those that they love, the alcoholic
may agree to come. They literally put themselves in harm’s way and risk losing all
that ground that they gained, rather than having to explain.
Unfortunately, and we know this firsthand, many people,
rather than NOT have alcohol, drugs or smoking present, just expect the
alcoholic to be in a sea of temptation and not partake. I would never say that people
are intentionally trying to cause the person to stumble and possibly die from
their ‘allergy.’ However, people are simply and truly ignorant to the hard core
pull of alcohol and drugs to the addict, especially to the triggers that make
them want to partake. Even a party by itself can feel foreign to them without
alcohol or drugs.
Common sense dictates that EVERY former alcoholic or
addict MUST live their lives as if they are allergic to it, or anything
associated with it, to save their own lives. And yet, as is the case with too
many, they clumsily, or maybe even on purpose, expose themselves to the allergen
or the peanut pusher, so to speak, as if they have nine lives.
Please know that many a recovering addict and
alcoholic have died because they failed to protect themselves from the catalyst
that would send them back down the path to utter destruction and death. I am a
firm believer that satan rules the world of substance abuse with the sole
purpose of destroying your life and holding you all in chains. It seems he has
mastered the art of creating idols for you to worship but even more, of causing
good believers to be sucked back into it by using situations, family, and
friends to tempt you back in.
Mat 26:41: “Watch and pray that you may not enter into
temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Rather than continue with devotions, networking with
healthy friends and family, finding healthy activities to distract you, you
have been drawn back in like a dog to its own vomit.
2 Pet 2:20-22:
“For if, after they have escaped
the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has
become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them
never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back
from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has
happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing
herself, returns to wallow in the mire.””
You are someone with a severe allergy. If it helps,
think of it like a peanut allergy. As such, you must live your life
accordingly. What are your triggers? Who are your catalysts? What situations make
it harder to avoid? Who do you want to impress to the point of not admitting
that you have a problem?
1 Cor 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not
common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your
ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that
you may be able to endure it.”
Staying alive means having the strength to say no and
turn away from even your closest friends and family to save your life. (Whether
they fail to understand out of ignorance or simply refuse to alter their lives to
save yours.) Put it this way, if it were a peanut allergy, would you go on a
tour of the peanut farm with your friends? Would you sample the peanut brittle
knowing that you will die?
Jam 1:12-16: “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast
under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life,
which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is
tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and
he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and
enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to
sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my
beloved brothers.”
Furthermore, what kind of friend or family can they be
if they entice you to partake in nuts knowing that you already almost died from
it? Do you WANT to associate with people who put partying over your health or
life? Unfortunately, the catalyst is often is someone you love dearly… but is
that moment worth dying for? That person or substance is the catalyst for quick
change and possibly death.
Jam 4:7: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist
the devil, and he will flee from you.”
God gave you the tools to win over temptation and to
live a free and healthy life. Yes, you are free in Christ and yet you choose to
be in bondage to the evil one. When you turn from God and seek your idol, your
drug or alcohol, the thing that you worship, you essentially are choosing to become
a sickly, craving, sin ridden minion to the evil one.
As family or friends of those struggling with
addiction, it is your responsibility to lovingly help them overcome temptation.
If you are unable to alter your lives to exclude triggers like smoking, alcohol
or drugs to help save a life, then ask yourself if YOU have a substance abuse
issue.
1 Cor 15:33:
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company
ruins good morals.”
Friday, September 24, 2021
Broken Vessels
God has given me an image of a broken vessel and how the light can shine through the cracks to create a thing of beauty. A beacon of hope and light for others. It is still a broken vessel, imperfect and fragile and yet, He can use it to His greatest glory.
As a human and ‘Christian’, I recognize that there is,
and always will be, a great disparity between how I am and how I should be. The
battle wages inside me every single day. And, as time passed and God freed me
from what I considered serious human sinfulness, I realize that the battle to
refrain from those physical and/or visible sins was not half as hard as the
inner battle that rages every day. Now, doing the work that I do, I see that
all of us suffer from the same thing.
2 Cor 10: 4-5: "The weapons we fight with are not
the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish
strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it
obedient to Christ."
It seems that there are, essentially and for the sake
of simplicity, two camps. There are those of us who will always see ourselves
as flawed and human, struggling against our own human nature and never
achieving perfection. We never quite feel that we have achieved the status of “Christian.”
(I will explain, don’t panic) That is to say, we are believers and give our
whole hearts to God, but we recognize, inside ourselves, the raging battle
between good and evil. We can never be totally at peace in this world because we
see our own imperfections and want to change. I am, and always have been, my
own worst critic.
Rom 7:15-20: “ I do not understand what I do. For what I
want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not
want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I
myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not
dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what
is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I
want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it
is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”
I have learned to be candid and transparent with
others about my struggles because I want them to recognize that I, like them, am
still fighting the fight and it is a lifelong issue, being human. One of the more
difficult hurdles to my becoming a believer was the fact that I saw those who
tried to save me as ‘perfect’ and unflawed … with no struggles in life. I knew
that I could never be like them. I felt that I would never be good enough to
stand with them. I never want to portray that type of “I have made it and am
fine” perfection to anyone in this world. I am and always will be a awork in
progress.
1 Pet. 5:8-9: "Be alert and of sober mind. Your
enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to
devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the
family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of
sufferings."
There are those who wear the label like a crown and
proclaim themselves fully healed with nothing more to attain. They are not
transparent with their own sinfulness but portray a simplistic view of
Christianity that sets themselves apart. They are uncomfortable with admitting
their struggles. Perhaps they don’t even see the battle that rages inside or
how the thoughts we have can destroy them and take them out. Being ‘Christian’ to
some, can be like obtaining a promotion in the workplace. They have ‘made it’
and feel that their work is done. Either they deny the battle that rages inside
them, or they become blind to their own humanness and comfortable in their hidden
sinful nature.
Prov 3:7: “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”
My own brokenness is so evident in how I live my life
and my thought processes. In my past, my vessel was filled with dirt and debris…
sin, essentially. No light could shine through because I had none in me. I
sinned against myself, others, and God with little thought to consequence. I
was broken in so many ways and, to fill that brokenness, I became impulsive and
self-centered. I heaped more and more dirt and sinfulness into that vessel
until it became the darkness.
As God fought with me, and I became a believer, He
guided me to wash away the visible/physical sinful nature. It was a struggle
that took many years. Not because He isn’t capable of miracles, but because I
was human. In my humanness, I could not see His Godliness or understand His
power. I doubted His ability to transform ‘someone as unworthy’ as me. I believed
it for others, but not me.
Seriously, He chased me like He is chasing you now. If
you take the time to stop and listen, you will hear Him guiding you and giving
you the strength. But YOU must let go of the idol in your hand and heart and
TRUST Him to walk you through it. We ARE our own worst enemy. The first time
that I had the strength to trust Him and fight my flesh and then, ultimately win,
I cried like a baby. That first time filled me with His power and love and I
KNEW that He had heard my cries. From then on, I learned to trust Him completely.
1 Cor. 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except
what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way
out so that you can endure it.”
As He took away each temptation, the light began to
shine through. Each crack in my vessel, my temple, began to allow the Light,
His light to shine through to others. As others saw the Light change me, it gave
them hope. As others began to trust Him and shine their light… well, the ripple
affect is real.
I am reminded of my daughter, Brandy. When she gave
herself to the Lord and my son saw her for the first time after that, he said,
essentially, that she glowed with a joy he had never seen in her before. It was
inspiring.
Rom 2: 6-8: “He will render to each one according to
his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and
immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking and
do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury.”
In fact, from her addiction and ultimate salvation
sprung a well of healing and salvation that rippled through our entire family(s).
I truly gave myself to God in a tangible way and no longer rode the fence. I
started this blog as a result and then I became a licensed minister. My husband,
not a believer at all, gave himself to God and to ministering to the broken. Almost
all of our kids have found or strengthened their faith. It continues to
transform lives to this day.
So… think about it for a moment. Doesn’t the Light
shine best in total darkness? God uses the cracks and brokenness to shine His
eternal Light through impure unperfected humanness to give other broken people
the Hope and strength to fight through their sinful nature.
It isn’t through our feigned perfection and ‘Christianity’
but through others seeing the miraculous and powerful transformation in our
lives. Our humility and loving nature.
Col 1: 13-14: "For he has rescued us from the
dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in
whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
I know that you can hear Him calling you. He chases
you in the darkness and tries to save you from yourself, from the enemy who
tries to dominate. One step of faith. One thing at a time. Let Him in.
Sunday, August 29, 2021
The devil drives a sports car
Around the time of my last post, my granddaughter, who I speak of quite often, came into program as a partial agreement to deferred prosecution. Twenty years old, 80 lbs soaking wet, 4 foot 11 with the beauty of an angel. Her heart, to me, was always scarred and broken but open and desperate for love. Her drug of choice is fentanyl, though not her only one. She has been homeless and addicted for a few years now.
After a 45
minute fiasco in the airport looking for her, we found her on the still secured
side of the airport, not knowing that she was supposed to come over to our
side. She was high as a kite and just listening to her music.
It was Heaven
spending time with her on the hour-long drive to Watsonville. True to form, she
sat in the back with her nana (that would be me) and laid up against me… so
happy to be with us again. I held her boney frame as we talked about anything
but her life as an addict. Though, surprisingly, she was quite candid about how 'bad it is now compared to years before' when we tried to help her.
The rules
are that when the ‘student’ is in crisis, they are in blackout. That means no
contact with anyone outside of crisis, including family. Her tiny frame slept mostly,
getting up to eat and bath and sleep again for about five days. The staff
watched her, lovingly putting extra blankets on her as she slept on her tummy
with her feet in the air over her back… how did she ever sleep like that? They
loved on her and said all the right things. But, by the fifth day, fentanyl
true to form, she lost her battle of withdrawal and left early that morning. No
id, no phone or clothes, she wandered as a complete stranger, out into
California, completely unprepared.
My dear
friend Maria said it best. She said, “the devil waits outside the door of [adult &] teen
challenge and looks like whatever they need him to be.” I don’t know what he
looked like that day. He surely took several forms.
1 Peter 5:8: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
She called
from several different cell phones, not her own. She landed two hours away in
San Francisco. One of the times she texted her mom she told her that ‘more bad ****
had happened to her in California in two weeks than happened to her back home
in Arizona in five months.’ Mind you, in Arizona she had been raped, beaten,
strangled, stolen from, mixed up with all the wrong people and just as
homeless. God only knows how many times that happened in CA.
Once she
texted, she would ghost us again and not answer our texts. Then a few days ago,
she said some guy took her to a town called Hanford. He had promised to take
her back, more than 3 hours away, but as most of the men in her life, he got
what he wanted and abandoned her there. Last we heard, some friends from AZ got
her a greyhound ticket back home. That was the 25th. We haven’t heard from her since. We have no idea if she even got on the bus.
People, the evil
one is real. He and his minions can be your best friend. They can be that free
ride to another town, another high or another world, if you aren’t careful. They
can be that ‘Christian’ friend who means well but talks you out of doing what is
right, what God has compelled you to do. They can be the pastor who steps over
the line, shakes your faith and causes you to stumble or run from God. They can
be the parent who fails to raise their child to know Him. Or worse, the one who
violates a child’s innocence.
He may not
really drive a sports car. He may just send you someone who has great drugs for
the price of your soul. Or will teach you the ‘tricks of the trade’ to keep you
in debt and in drugs. He will promise you a life of fame for your vanity, or
position for your ego or power for your submission. One way or the other, he
will do his best to get you to sell your soul for the thing that you can’t live
without. But I guarantee you that he won’t be leading you to eternal salvation
and redemption or that life of peace we all crave.
If you want
to know all about how to recognize evil when you see it, I have this book. It’s
free.
What I can
tell you is this:
1 Cor
10:13: “No temptation
has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not
let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also
provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
Often in
times of struggle, we are so busy looking at the open door that we fail to see
the window. Get to know all about the good and evil in the world so that you
can recognize when you see it. Open the Good book. Use the weapons that He has
made a way for you to overcome evil with good. Look for it.
Listen, you
have the answers right there in front of you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
While You Linger-Addict's Plight
I hear the stories of your fate;
the worst that one must bare
and still you linger in the dark
for hell to hold you there.
We've chased you over these few years;
we won't give up the fight
But somehow, even though we pray,
Free will must be your plight.
You know we try to reach you, still,
but efforts are in vain
Our reach is just not long enough-
Our broken hearts remain.
I've no idea what you see
when your reflection peers at you.
I've no idea what you feel
or the hurt that you subdue.
I do know, and you won't believe,
that NOTHING you can do,
will ever change the love we have
or how we look at you.
You've only to agree to fight
and we'll fight by your side.
You're stronger than you realize
you do not have to hide!
For all this life has thrown at you
you fail to see the good
We'd fight it all and die for you
if only that we could!
There is no shame in falling, child,
we all have fallen prey.
You'll find the strength in God and us,
if you simply turn away.
But just for now, until you do,
please let us know you're there.
All we desire is to know you're fine
and we'll keep you in prayer.
Sunday, July 4, 2021
The Great Divide
When I was little, I remember wandering around town, and out of town, by myself just to see what the world looked like. I was like a street urchin in a tiny rural, unincorporated town that had a creek running through it, a river outside it, farmland, an actual mine to explore, close knit community and all the excitement that a child can find when allowed to explore unattended.
We had a blended family and slept three to a bed at
times because our combined family was 14 strong. As with most blended families,
we had our problems. The father was on my side of the family. The mother on
their side. Keeping in mind that I was very young, probably around two, when
they regained custody of me from my foster family, my memories are a mix of
wonderful freedoms and friendships along with clearly dysfunctional living, unconventional
parenting and sibling rivalry.
From what I recall, the parents did their own thing
and left the older kids to manage the household. If I came home late from
exploring, there was no real consequence. When I almost got ran over for
sledding down a steep road, I got spanked. We had a well, an outhouse, a
chamber pot and no running water. The first and only time that I had been
disciplined, if I remember right. When we got Christmas presents, mine disappeared
shortly after. Sometimes we would be forced to stay outside at night when the
parents were away so that the older girls could have their friends over. I
recall my step-sister almost coming to blows with my sister(s)? to let us in or
else. One by one, my (real) sisters left home as soon as they were able. I was
the youngest and the last to leave. My own father left too, and I was left
behind. I was maybe 8 years old.
After my real family left me there, despite the years
I lived with them, I recall a few incidents when step-mom asked why I was still
there in their home. She complained about why I was still there and said that I
wasn’t wanted. I recall one time when the younger step-brother shook me and
tried to make me say that I was retarded. The funny thing is, I remember the
rest of my time as being so adventurous and fun.
It was, however, a relief when one of my sisters came for
me to live with her. I think the father and her were given ultimatums. “Come
and get your child or…” The father couldn’t be bothered so my loving sister
Bootie came. I packed a clothes basket of what we could find and left.
There is far more that happened from childhood to adulthood
that is not irrelevant to how I turned out but seems too much to add here at
this moment. You can imagine the worst and extrapolate the possibilities on
your own. You probably wouldn’t be far off.
Literally all my life until I had a home of my own, I
felt like an orphan. Throughout adulthood, I felt insecure, unloved; like an
outsider. I struggled to fit in and be accepted. Not that people didn’t accept
me, but that I always felt that I had to try harder to be ‘worthy.’ On the
inside there was this great battle of good and evil trying to control who I
thought I was. Perhaps part of me being a loner, and so good at working on my
own, was because I never felt that I could truly trust anyone to do their part
or sincerely care about the outcome as I do.
My relationships reflected my insecurity and lack of
trust from choices that I made in life which damaged me further. You see, as
you know, if you don’t have good examples to model your decisions after… or if
circumstances cause you to stray away from the good that you know, into the
darkness that you feel safe in, then your decisions, relationships and behavior
are molded very differently than someone with a normal, loving background.
They say, the infamous ‘they’, that those who have
been broken and put back together from the lowest of lows are best at empathy
and love. Perhaps that is why Christ chooses us. Yes, we have a great deal of empathy,
but it comes at a cost too.
We have nurtured, over the years of brokenness, a lot
of messed up ideals of how we should be. We come from a place of never having
the right mentor or examples to follow in life. Or, we did, and we chose to,
follow the complete opposite. In any case, whatever our lives were and became,
we find ourselves here.
All this to say, How do we make sure that we provide
the proper nurturing and love to those that God asked us to serve if we have
become reactionary and guarded from our damaged lives? We the people have to
lead His people in love. What does that look like to a bunch of broken misfits
as us? Practically speaking, of course.
There are two key sayings that come to mind which
helped me, along with scripture, realize how important my reactions to others can
be. It took me years and years to really ‘get it’.
One is “Treat people how you want to be treated.”
Luke 6:31:
“And as you wish that others
would do to you, do so to them.”
The other is “If we could read the secret history
of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough
to disarm all hostility.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
And one of my biblical
favorites is:
Eph 6:12: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
People handle positions
of power differently. Meaning, both leaders AND followers have a different view
of leadership.
We are ultimately secular
beings trying to live like Christians. So, it makes sense that we should have
trouble putting to use our newfound Christian values as it relates to work
related positions. We have had all of the biblical training as the best of Christians
but whether our titles are in ministry positions or not, we haven’t had practical
life applications of how to put our biblical beliefs to good use in a work
environment.
You see, secularly we
view positions of authority as power and autonomy. We think that we have finally
made it and we now have the freedom to do what we want. In fact, the
dictionary has one definition of autonomy as “self-directing freedom and especially
moral independence.” But that simply isn’t the way we should be. We
must, as followers of Christ, do our best to love others above ourselves and
live by His moral code, am I right?
Well, you can read all
you want about horses. We can call you a horseman and put you on
a horse, but if you have never actually ridden one, your tendency
might be to kick its sides and yank the reigns. You come at a horse like that
and you will find yourself on the ground dusting off your bottom.
We lean to what we know.
Coming from the streets, we use our street smarts as a default when we don’t
know any better. We respond with power and control rather than learning how to
build trust first. It is typically the first mistake. It is the same in leadership.
We don’t just walk into the title and BAM we are a leader. We have to build
trust and learn by trial and error. The problem is, we still think like we did
in the world. Out of fear and insecurity we reign with power and control and no
apologies because we don’t want people to see us fall off.
Out in the world, if you
are given a ‘title’, you typically have to compete with others for it. This
alone can create barriers to unity and successful outcomes. It pits one against
the other and the ‘winner’ has to question what she has won. Position comes
with immediate resentment, hidden agendas to knock you off of your horse and
debate about what is the best way to do your job. If you are wise, you
learn to lead rather than to dictate in order to meet your goals. You need buy-in
but every day can be a constant struggle to teach others how to be productive
team mates.
Phil 2:2-4: “Complete my joy by being of the same mind,
having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry
or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let
each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of
others.”
You will find that all of
a sudden people will align themselves to you that weren’t before.
It may be difficult to stay neutral and it will be expected that
you show favoritism to those who are there to support you and be your ‘friends.’
It will be difficult to separate your work world from your personal alliances.
A good rule of thumb is
that you NEVER want to put yourself in a position to be accused of impropriety.
If you can’t do or say it to everyone, best not do or say it at all to anyone.
You will find those who will
do what they can to sabotage your position and make you look bad. They initiate
‘secret’ conversations with you in order to ensnare you unjustly.
You will find those who
fight amongst themselves and don’t really think much about you or your position.
They just want to do what they are called to do.
You will also find those
that see the whole picture and just want to share ideas on how to make it work
smoothly.
Unfortunately, you can
rarely tell any of them apart. Who is truly for or against you? Are they in it
for themselves or is it sincere?
I am reading a book
called “The Tattooist of Auschwitz”. It says, “And just like a king, he must
now be wary of people’s motives for befriending him or taking him into their confidence.
Are they jealous? Do they want my job? Do I run the risk of being wrongly
accused of something? He has seen the consequences of greed and mistrust here.”
In our Christ like world,
you are supposed to serve in a role that you are called
to. If you truly believe that you are called to a position, then
you need to serve as Christ did, be teachable and do your utmost for others. If
you stay in God’s will, and are serving in love, He will bless you in your
obedience. He will keep you where you are meant to be. End of.
We aren’t supposed to be
like the world in positions of ministry. We are supposed to TRUST that God has
put us where He wants us. THAT is why we can easily admit mistakes, be honest
in our shortcomings. Seek help with issues that make our blood boil. Accept
correction when it is given and seek forgiveness a million times if we have to
because we ARE Christians and we will always be unlearning worldly methods of
leadership until the day we pass on. As long as we are leading scripturally, we
should feel secure in what we do because we all should be thinking the same
thing. We are in this together and we are where Christ wants us.
As a Christian leader, the
difference isn’t in what others do in reaction to your title. People,
Christian or not, will always align themselves to self-survival mode. We always
have to be wary of why other people do what they do if we are in
a position of authority. The difference is you! Do YOU trust God?
How do you react and serve in a biblical position? Nothing that anyone else
does matters IF you are serving in love and obedience to what Christ would do
in your shoes.
If you are serving in
love and transparency: You shouldn’t fear being taken from it unless it is God’s
will. If He moves you to something else, embrace the change. You shouldn’t be
insecure about making mistakes. Honesty sets you high upon the throne in the
sight of others but a lack of integrity will undermine your position. People
see what you do and they emulate it. You should be able to
confess short comings and seek guidance without pride. There is no shame in
admitting when you have sinned against your fellow man and fallen short of what
God wishes you to do. Surely you must know that “There but by the Grace of God
go I.” None of us are immune to behaving humanly. Some of us just hide it
better. As a Christian, you do not need to fight for your position. You can
feel secure in it and put all your energies into being a good servant.
Worldly leaders
frequently have a “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality that carries over into
their lives in general. They make their actions acceptable solely based on
their position. A good example would be of parenting. As a parent, I tell my
children that they cannot have sweets because it isn’t good for them and then I
sit down, in front of them, and eat sweets. This is tricky because we tell
ourselves that we are entitled now that we have ‘made it’ and we
can eat what we want. In reality, we are telling others that we are better than
they are and their feelings about that don’t matter.
To us, as Christians, we
never want to ‘flaunt’ our privileges in front of our students or interns. We
never want anyone to ‘stumble’ because of what we say, do or ingest. We must be
mindful of others before thinking of ourselves and not fall prey to that sense
of entitlement of position.
1 Cor 8:9: “But take care that this right of yours does
not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.”
Rom 14: 1-23: “As for the one who is weak in faith,
welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat
anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats
despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on
the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the
servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he
will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one
day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one
should be fully convinced in his own mind. ...
If we love others more
than ourselves, our first thought is not how it affects us or how
we feel about anything, it is how we can love this person next to
us enough to help them heal from their brokenness and seek the Light.
Leaders also have a huge responsibility
to those who are watching. It is a matter of integrity or not having any,
really. Like a Chameleon we learn to take on a different persona depending on who
we are talking with. To some extent, we all do this because it is part of
relationships. We know that we need to talk to Jane more delicately than
we do with John because we know their stories. Maybe Jane needs a softer
approach and John prefers to be blunt and feels it is an insult to sugar coat
anything. But the type of duplicity that I refer to is intentional deceit.
Duplicity, or posturing, is
where people act in a way that is not normal for them just to please someone
else. For example, one might behave in reverence to an authority figure and
pretend to be exactly what the authority wants them to be, but is completely
different with everyone else. In private, with family or with their closest friends,
they revert to their true self. A good example might be the church goer who
speaks softly and is filled with scripture while in church and talking to the
pastor, but reigns with an iron fist and little love when at home.
Another pitfall of
leadership is ingratiating. Have you ever seen employees in a work setting
talking amongst themselves in a normal manner but as soon as the leader comes
into the meeting, some completely change? They do what it takes to win the
approval of the one in charge. Some will even jump up to get the authority
figure coffee, not being concerned with serving anyone else. They offer special
treatment and set the boss apart from everyone else. Respect for authority, in
and of itself, is acceptable, but to the exclusion of others, it is not
Christian. Unfortunately, the reason why ‘ingratiating ourselves to someone’ works
is because those in authority like the perks and attention that it gets them
and those ingratiating themselves like the favoritism bestowed upon them.
It is easy to be drawn
into that sort of treatment but very necessary to stop the behavior
immediately. We should never let it appear that, as someone in authority, we
are better than anyone else in the room. It wouldn’t work if the leader didn’t allow it
and no one would do it if they didn’t know there is going to be benefits for
it. If it is accepted and, even expected, it causes the great divide between people
to become even wider.
Both duplicity and
ingratiating is obvious to those who are watching and can completely undermine
your position, integrity and trusted relationships. People who are duplicitous
are seen as being untrustworthy because they lack sincerity. To lead, you must
be neutral and loving to everyone, think of others before
yourself and lead by serving, not by being served.
Remember part of my story
at the beginning? We ALL have a story and most of us don’t know the FULL story.
We are taking other people’s lives in our hands and trying to model for them,
what Christ would want them to live like. To do that, we must be above
reproach. We must live what we want them to live. We must walk the walk, so to
speak and be the person that Christ called to this position. We set the example
for them. Our willingness to serve the broken, keeping in mind their hidden
stories, will help them along the way. We must lift them higher so that, they
too, can grow to serve one day. We must remember that we are setting an
example, good or bad, for everyone watching… but most importantly, the position
entrusted to us can be taken away at God’s will if we fail to serve others
above ourselves.
We deal in broken people.
Easily swayed and dissuaded. The difference is, if I mess up out in the world,
chances are my mistakes won’t lead to drug abuse and death. In this ministry, if
I turn one of these little ones away by my bad example, they can lose their
life.
Therefore, it is crucial that
you, as a leader, understand the delicate balance of what you do and say.
Rom 15:1: “We who are strong have an obligation to
bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”
Col 3:12-14: “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and
beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving
each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above
all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
Eph 6:9: “9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do
not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.”
2 Cor 1:3-4: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in
all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any
affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
Tuesday, May 4, 2021
Breaking Free
God is so good. I can’t explain how many times God has had His merciful hand on our lives lately. He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear the subtle way that he intervenes in our lives to propel us to change… to be free… to be saved… to find peace. We, as Christians praise Him for the trials knowing that He is at work in those who are experiencing it. The world just does not know the lengths that God will go to save them from themselves.
I visualize a cracked vessel, pouring out pain and
brokenness from every damaged space. But God fills those spaces with His love
and mercy making us whole again if we let Him.
I watch my family and those that I counsel with great
interest. It may be age or experience or God’s divine hand in it that helps me
to see behind what they say and do. Perhaps it is a combination of all of it. I
watch women struggle with acceptance and insecurity. I see people running from
God and digging deeper into their mess out of self -loathing and physical
addiction because they think they are too weak to fight.
I see how easy it is for others to manipulate people
into ‘needing’ them because they see weakness, smell it out almost, and abuse
their power over others to keep them chained to situations that they do not
wish to be in. I see perfectly wonderful people being used and ignored; convinced
that they would be less than nothing if not for this other person in their
lives… when in fact, the person is holding them back from their true potential.
I have been chained to self-destruction and God saved me. I broke free and
learned, through Him, who I was meant to be.
It is easy for me to say all of this. I was a battered
woman for seven years and before that I had a childhood that broke my spirit…
for a long, long time. The residual damage that it caused me, my walk with God
and my relationships with others was instrumental in holding me down.
By God’s grace, I see the beauty in the broken. All my
pain and experience brought me to a place where God could remove my shame and
rejection and use my experiences to help others. That is part of how He turns
it to His Glory and our good.
People, I see you. I see your pain. I feel your doubt.
I know you are believing the enemies lies about your life because it is easier
to believe that you are beyond help than it is to see a new life for yourself. Our
experiences may differ, but the result can be very much the same. We become
broken.
I find that the hardest sins to remove are the ones
that I could hide. It wasn’t the physical sins, although those can be hard as
well. The hardest stuff to repair was the thoughts and feelings that I had.
Pride, vanity, anger, judgement, condemnation, and things that are easily
hidden.
1 John 3:15: “Everyone who
hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life
abiding in him.”
Your addiction isn’t worse than someone else’s. Others
may try to hide anger, resentment, vanity, pride and all of those sins that
cannot be seen but God sees it. They are just as sinful. All sin must be
irradicated from your life. Your sins can and will be forgiven if you lean to
Him.
1 John 5:17: “All wrongdoing is
sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death.”
I was thinking of ala-non recently for a friend who had
a husband who was an addict. I say was because at 34, he died, alone, in his
car at work from an overdose. He was a loving Christian and father who just
didn’t love himself. He thought that he couldn’t win against his physical battle
with drugs. The truth is, it was his mental battle with himself and God. I can’t
say for sure because I am not him, but I think that he just didn’t believe that
God loved him enough or He just didn’t realize God’s power. He didn’t lean in
and let God take control. He thought, like many of you, that God loves everyone…
but has little reason to love ’me.’ The evil one loves that lie.
Mark 7:21-23: “For from within,
out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder,
adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride,
foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
Then I got to thinking… addiction programs can be very
good for helping us see our addictions to other people… people who are bad for
us and not really reciprocating our love for them, not fulfilling their part of
the relationship, people who manipulate the broken into submission and
acceptance of the selfless existence that they want us to live for them. Because,
in fact, we can be addicted to other people as well. They call it codependency.
I had that.
Prov
29:25: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”
The whole point of Jesus’ death on the cross was for
us to come to Him, believe in Him and be forgiven. We can have a closer relationship
with God through Christ. But because of free will, we have to want it. Do you
want to be set free? Trust me, I like who I am much better than who I was. Each
time I broke the bonds that held me captive… and there were many, I felt a
weight lift from my soul. The evil one used every trick that he could to hold
me back, but that just made me fight harder.
1 John 1:9: “If we confess our
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.”
God
didn’t promise a rose garden if we come to Him. He promised us the Holy Spirit.
He promised us eternal life. He promised us a peace that surpasses all
understanding if we utilize His word in His way. That peace can remain in us
through our trials if we learn to harness it right as a conflict develops.
TRUST GOD.
John 16:33: “I have said these things to you, that in me
you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I
have overcome the world.”
John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to
you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled,
neither let them be afraid.”
There
is hope for ALL of us. Even those of us who think that ‘we made it’ and that we
don’t have to reach for Him anymore. We need more help than those who are still
struggling with sin… because we are deeply sinful for thinking we are more than
we are.
Listen,
this isn’t a one and done deal. You can’t just come to get forgiveness and then
think you are all good. This is a relationship. It is a world-wide ministry
that relies on connection. Maybe I can liken it to a network or computer
program for those of you who are tech savvy. Not the greatest analogy but it
will do:
Pretend that being Christian is a computer. As time
goes on, the system gets bogged down with junk,
cookies and errors and such. If just get a new computer and never clean it, it
can become corrupted and break down. But if we take time to maintain it, clean
it and update it, it stays healthy. Christianity, our relationship with God, is
a lot like that.
As new Christians, we need the fruit of the
Spirit, the Word, the fellowship and filling of His presence to keep us going.
Over time we can become complacent or lose interest or be lazy and think that
we have arrived and do not need that filling anymore. But then, without the
steady influx of His Word to update where we are in life, we forget who to
reach for when we need ‘cleaning’ so to speak.
Stay
connected to strengthen your walk with Him. Don’t just call on Him when you
need something. It doesn’t’ work that way. He wants to show you how to live
your life in peace regardless of circumstance.
To
the broken, come to Him. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God.
Find peace. If I can break free of all of my sins and continue to this day to
fight the battle in my mind, you can too.
I
love you