The Greatest of these is Love

 

1 Cor 13:13: “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

As this year comes to a close, we have all experienced a very different Christmas and will start the new year off in much the same manner. As I sat thinking about the video chats with our kids and grandkids, now 24 grandkids in all, I was both grateful and saddened.

I thought about how we have just had three new additions to our grandchildren in the last several months and while we see them grow via video, we can’t hold them close and love on them like we would like. I know that you can relate.

At the same time, or shortly after, I thought about how we are so fortunate that technology allows us the opportunity to see them grow as often as we wish through Google Duo or Marco Polo with families.

Then, I thought of those we didn’t get to see. Our granddaughter who is lost in addiction and living in the streets. She just turned 20. She is a whole 80 lbs soaking wet and the most beautiful spirit inside and out. Many who have met her have never seen how her true heart works, how giving she is and how deeply she loves. They only have seen the teenager, the broken spirit, the person lost in darkness. I have so many videos and pictures of us before she completely gave into her addition. She had given herself to the Lord. Now, she runs from Him, and us, in shame.

We still text her videos and pictures and songs that will lift her up and let her know that we love her. That is all that we can do, even if she never answers back. I don’t get hurt or frustrated or take it personally because I know that she has created a hell on earth that she doesn’t want us to be a part of from her shame. I know that the Trinity that used to be with us, is still in there and loves us as much as she always did. So we hang in there and never give up.

My heart hurt knowing she was out there somewhere on Christmas and probably didn’t even know what day it is. She has had everything bad happen to her out there so far, everything, and yet it hasn’t been enough to bring her to her knees. We all pray for her, and all of those in addiction, daily. And I praise God that she is still breathing and as long as she is breathing, I know that He is still at work in her heart. I trust that, because that is what we pray for through out the day, for all of those in addiction.

Which brings me to my next point. The season isn’t about presents and decorations and Santa Claus. Although it is a nice thing to be able to do. At some point in history, we made it about commercialism, but it isn’t. Jesus was born solely to die for our sins. He loved us that much. As we spent time on our video chats with friends and family, my heart was filled with joy that we have that ability to be with them in part… and in the future, we will be with them in whole as we can travel around the globe to be near them and hold them as our hearts long to. And in the end, God willing, we will all be together with Jesus. That is what matters. Love and salvation.

What is my point? If you have family or friends that have fallen into darkness. Don’t contact them for your sake and then give up when they don’t respond. Send them encouragement and love in any way that you can, however you can and keep doing it no matter what. Expect nothing from them, but continue to pray for complete restoration knowing that God’s will be done. 

Imagine, if you could go back, what would you do differently to save them from themselves? Do it now with those that you still have.

Love unconditionally. Be grateful and cherish those who are still with you because you never ever know when you will be taken from them, or them from you. They aren’t yours. They are a gift from God that He expects you to love and grow in His truth.

 

Dear John letter to the year 2020-Covid

 

  Dear 2020,                                                                             

 

Well, here we are and I must say,

I never thought we’d end this way.

 

I really tried so hard to change

Through isolation and so much pain.

 

It seems to me, you’ve won it all,

Gave up nothing, while I gave all.

 

I cannot shop. I cannot play.

I cannot work. I cannot pray.

 

Unless I do it in a mask,

Breathing free is just a task.

 

We no longer hug the way we should.

There is no touching, and that’s not good!

 

I don’t feel close. I feel alone.

My family and friends are stuck at home.

 

You came into my life so silent and sly.

And now I wish you’d passed me by.

 

As I followed routines with family and friends

Your deadly poison continued to spread.

 

You’re a home wrecker. Grim Reaper too!

You divide and conquer. Death follows you!

Who would’ve thought technology is key?

While you isolate, it sets me free!

 

I know we’ll never be the same.

There’s too much death and you’re to blame.

 

But as this year, comes to an end,

Please set us free so we can mend!

 

Don’t stalk me! Do not try to stay!

We’re done… I’m gone! Just get away!

 

We must rebuild. Our fate’s not sealed.

We must have faith that we will heal.

 

Lynn M Shellberg

 

 

 

Rescue by Lauren Daigle

 This song, inevitably, brings me to tears... Every time. I think of lives affected by addiction and brokenness. I think of my 20 year old grand-daughter in the darkest part of this world. I feel her pain and hopelessness. And I know, as parents of those lost to us and our Savior, how hopeless we feel to help.

But I think of God's love reaching out to rescue them. He leaves the 99 for them. It brings me to my knees because He did this for each and every one of us.

This could be the battle cry of our Spirit led, life saving program. Adult and Teen Challenge is standing by to rescue those in darkness.

Our staff and students understand brokenness at the deepest level. Every single soul has seen what darkness can do to a person's will and hope. We know and witness the power of love and prayers.

They are willing, not only to forego their future opportunities for money and position to stay in program and give their lives to others... But they do, indeed, send out armies to rescue those in need and 'bring them home.'

These selfless men and women are content to sacrifice life's luxuries, even it's simple pleasures, to love and encourage and raise up, the children of God who forgot whose they are.

A heart felt thank you to my partners in Christ's army. A warm sense of gratitude for the artist that God blessed with the words of wisdom and encouragement. All of you, who in some way serve the kingdom and restore lives, thank you!

UPDATED AGAIN: Trusting in the Gap

Results! I am scheduled for the angiogram/plasty for Monday Nov 30th at 8am. Please keep us in prayer. Especially those in my family who have tender hearts and will worry.

Update to the Update: Just finding out which insurance will cover this is causing a delay while my symptoms worsen. Today is a bad day. Please continue to pray for resolution. I don't want complications while I wait. They want to get me in on November 30th. (I have been on hold to find out which insurance needs to approve it for over an hour.)

UPDATE:

Sooooo, I found a cardiologist and I owe the anesthesiologist and my primary doctor a big thank you. I had an awful stress test where they give you chemicals instead of the tread mill. Long story short, my Cardio doctor said that I have a blockage in my main left anterior artery. He called it the "widow maker." He did say that mine isn't an emergency. (Essentially because I have not had a heart attack, I imagine) 

I need to have an angiogram to map the area first. This is when they stick a needle in your groin, or now a days, your wrist. They send dye into the heart to map the blockages. then they do an angioplasty, possible stent to improve the blood flow. Worst case scenerio, if there are too many blockages or whatever else may deem it necessary, they will have to open me up to do a bypass. (I doubt it will come to that.)

I know it sounds strange but thank GOD they refused to do abdominal surgery and made me go to the cardiologist. And thank God the test found it! I don't want to know what might have happened had they done the abdominal surgery without knowing of my heart condition. 

But it gets better. I couldn't figure out why I didn't qualify for Medi-Cal back in August through all of these appointments because that is when our income went down. Covid took my husband's handiman jobs and my income went down by half. Turns out Covered California didn't remove his income. I contacted Monterey County and they investigated. They said that we were eligible and they would make us eligible retroactively back to October 1st when we should have been on it. Not only that, but because of my heart condition, they are going to rush approval.

This is tricky because we are trying to schedule me for the angiogram, angioplasty or whatever ends up being needed. So in the midst of getting approval from my medical company, I am actually switching so that I won't go broke trying to make payments for all of the medical appointments it has and will take.

People, this situation has looked so dark and bleak to me. I am a very active person. I do not like sitting still. I used to run the stairs at work just for fun. I have been muddle headed, dizzy, short of breath and all of the standard heart failure symptoms. At the same time, all of my EKGs and blood pressure tests have been normal. I finally googled if it is possible to have a blockage or clot and still have the EKG come back normal. Then told my doctor that it is. 

Did you guys know this? This is important because many doctors may not realize this and may not refer you for a stress test! I was being told, by my primary doctors, that heart failure symptoms don't come and go. People. They do! They fluctuate in severity until it is too late and you end up with a heart attack! 

Back in September, my symptoms were so bad that I couldn't stand up without nausea and dizziness. I couldn't eat but a 1/4 of what I normally would. My heart would pound and flutter like it was working over time while I was laying still. I had pulsing headaches where the veins outside my skull felt like they were going to explode and one had a bruised area at the top of my head. Then that tapered off and I almost felt normal but for the dizziness and shortness of breath. (And pulsing head thing if I was too strenuous.) I started to even doubt myself. That is why I expected an all clear from the cardiologist.

I know there were people, very dear to me, who doubted there was anything wrong because of how long it toke to find. I mean, I had to make the decision not to drive months and months ago because of the dizzy spells. So even the best of people couldn't see the truth of it. Plus, I was isolated and they couldn't see the result of what was happening to me. I wanted to just stop going to the doctor again. Stop spending money I don't have to spare. Go back to normal. But I had no choice. My physical life is totally under attack. I couldn't even fake normal if I tried.

But God. He has perfect timing! Just when it looks darkest, He shines His light and reveals the truth. He knows what we don't. So when things aren't working right and there are delays and disappointments and changes, trust that He is in control. That is the only thing that has kept me going.

When I finally had to tell my kids, they were worried. I had to remind them that God doesn't go to such great lengths to reveal a truth just to let you die. He doesn't say, "Okay, there is your miracle. You have an answer. Now you can die." He led them to the reason so that I could be saved and continue serving Him. This I fully believe. But, in the event that it is my time to go. Then it is my time. His will be done. Amen?

I am asking for your prayers that the approvals happen quickly and the procedures are successful. I want very much to be a normal wife and employee again. But mostly, allow others to glorify His name through all of this. Because no matter the outcome, God is so very good!

Original post below:

I don't normally do this but I think that sharing when God shows up is important. In order to see it in its true light, you have to see how dark it is first.

My physical body has been ailed by many things in my lifetime and in almost every way but despite that, I have been in pretty good form. Since my twenties, I have had allergies to everything including mold, adenomyosis, ovarian cysts, hypothyroid, chronic sinus infections and bronchitis, walking and regular pneumonia, chronic IBS and diverticulitis, stomach ulcers, non-pitting edema in my legs, a horrible bout of cdiff, four surgeries to remove squamous and basil cells that continue to return all over, and basically three - four pages of unresolved issues to date. Nothing that kept me from functioning. 

Since about January when I was horribly ill with a respiratory infection, I have suffered a strange plethora of symptoms that we have not yet nailed down. I have had repeated infections, massive stabbing pains in lymph nodes, symptoms of heart failure but ekg and blood tests show nothing. Major swelling and stabbing pains throughout my abdomen but no (continuous) blood or obvious answers there either. 

To make it easier for me physically and financially, I had to be dropped down to 20 hours a week because it hurts to sit up so long. It pushes on my groin areas and causes more pain. This isn't ideal as Covid has all but diminished my husband's handyman services. However, it did qualify us for a little better deductibles. 

It is partly my fault because my insurance was so inadequate that, once I spent almost $3000 in January for my allergy and ob/gyn consults, I decided not to pursue the abdominal issues. Then, in time, the new symptoms appeared.

I have been in tears because, at times, my primary doctor was dismissive and didn't pursue anything. I have since gotten an amazing ob/gyn and primary who are pursuing it. Then I was in tears because of the abdominal pain and my refusal to take pain meds. (We settled on gabapentin) And finally, they scheduled a diagnostic surgery to biopsy my abdomen to, hopefully, find answers. Or so I thought...

The anesthesiologist refused to proceed with surgery on October 29th due to my unexplained heart or lung symptoms. We were trying to get it done before the end of the year, while I still had okay coverage. I had received a notice saying that it is going up next year. They told me this the day before my surgery. I, once again, was in tears.

So far, I have been referred to two cardiologists and had appointments for them, neither of which I could take because my doctor referred me to out of network cardiologists. Once again, yesterday, I asked the office to double check that they were covered before the doctor sees me and they weren't in my network. Until I can get to a cardiologist, I am unable to move forward with the diagnostic surgery. Again tears. 

I am not a baby. I don't have crying fits over nothing. But to put it in perspective, since January, I have massive swelling and stabbing pains all over my abdomen 90% of the time. It is swollen to the point that it hurts for a pillow to rest on it, to wear pants or undergarments and gets worse when I move about. The stabbing is not limited to there. It actually started in my arm pits and continues. This has been going on so long that I won't drive because of the dizzy spells. I don't know what it is or what causes it so I won't risk it. And, to make it worse, the reason I exist, the reason I am at TCMB is to love on students and staff. But I have to work from home and haven't had a lot of contact with them since this began.

Two things that I have been telling God: I ask Him to give the doctors supernatural compassion, vision and discernment. Secondly, I ask Him to hit me with a brick. 

In other words, I want Him to make it obvious that I should continue pursuing help about these things because, if they subside for long enough, I won't, just because of the cost. He knows this. I need to be sure what is from Him and what is my own doing so making it irrefutable is the best way. thus, 'hit me with a brick.' I suspect the pain is there so that I cannot ignore it. Just when I think that I am getting a reprieve from it, the stabbing returns or the shortness of breath or the dizziness, etc and I am reminded that I must continue moving forward.

Now, mind you, since Oct 1st, my Oct 29th surgery was postponed, two of my cardiologist appointments have been cancelled due to lack of coverage and I sit here, after a good cry, and say, "I trust you, Lord. You know what I don't." My husband is sympathetic and thinks I am amazing for holding it together as well as I do considering. But yesterday, even he had to have seen it.

Yesterday, after crying about not having a covered cardiologist, my hubby and I checked into our medical for next year. Starting in January, we qualify for Medi-Cal again. This means that my 'okay' coverage will be even better. I won't go broke trying to decide what appointments to keep. I don't have to cry if I don't get into the cardiologist or surgery right away. 

My bottom line is this: Just when you think that it can't get any worse, it still may. But God sees all things past, present and future. I have a tendency to run ahead and think I know things or need to do things that He hasn't done yet. but because I ask Him to hit me with a brick and stay with me, He holds me back and doesn't give me a choice but to follow His lead to a better resolution. All the waiting and delays and disappointment felt insurmountable at times. But I kept the faith, after a good cry. While dismissive doctors, cancelled surgery and failed attempts at cardiologist appointments may feel like the last straw, if we leave it to Him, we will, in the end, be better off for it. Even when we cannot see how. THAT is the essence of trust.

If we trust what we can see, what good is it? Faith is trusting in what we cannot see in our darkest moments when all feels lost. 

Keep the faith people. I love you all.

Rise up!

 

I want you people out there who are broken and wandering in the desert to consider this closely.

Peter followed Christ. He knew Him. He loved Him and listened to every Word that He said. He had total faith in Him. He watched Him perform miracles and walk on water!!! Even Peter walked on water for a tiny moment in time until his fear made him fall. Petr denied Christ three times just as it was written. One of Christ’s own disciples fell short on faith and stumbled.

I see this as in parallel with what we go through in this dark life. I see you and know that you are hurting and struggling. But let me tell you, our faith may fail or weaken. We may stumble and even fall but does that change our love and faith in Christ?!

If you are reading this and you feel guilt and shame, the answer is no! If you had no qualms about your behavior, then maybe. But I hear your cries of pain and shame and I know that you still love the Lord and long to be whole again. You are still usable by Christ! Your faith is still holding you up and keeping you from drowning!

I know there are many of you who feel unworthy because you attempted to conquer the world and, instead, it conquered you. I know that once you were defeated, even for a moment, you felt weighted down with guilt and shame… unworthy… unsalvageable. And, I know from experience, when you feel that way, you tend to stop fighting against the dark current and you let it take you under. I have seen it so many times.

But you hear me now… RISE UP! No matter how many times you fall, no matter how little your faith in your salvation is, no matter what other people say (fear of man) and with all of the power of the One who saved you has given unto you, RISE UP! Again.

If Peter can be tested and brought to tears and pushed low and then, by the tiniest faith he could muster, he got back up… despite his humanness, he knew what he knew, what he knew… SO DO YOU!

Start over. Turn the page. Repent. Get right! Be Humble. Trust Him. Know that you are called, or you could never have been saved and proclaimed Him Lord.

The world is like quicksand ready to pull you under. The evil one will use any means to keep you believing that you are lost for good. Even Christians can be used to pull you under! Recognize the darkness for what it is and LIGHT YOUR LAMP again! RISE UP!

You and I will never be “worthy.” We are, after all, sinners born and bred. Not one of us are… but we ARE loved by God. We ARE chosen by the Lord. We ARE His heirs. Just like Peter and David…. David was an adulterous murderer and yet He was loved and chosen!

Isaiah 54:10 —

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”

We have been given the power of the Holy Spirit to be like Christ. Keep your spark going by feeding it fuel (the Word)

RISE UP and shine your light in those dark places so that it must flee from you.

 

The Scars of Many Dark Deeds

 

 If you are a parent, then you understand that our children get to a point where they know everything and they don’t want to listen to us anymore. We only see them when they want to do laundry or need something. They do not want to abide by our rules anymore. They want to go it alone. And when trouble hits and/or they are injured, broken or wounded by life, we often get the blame for something they chose to do. Somewhere in there, we should have known, we should have stepped in, we should have saved the day.

It is amazing how it is our fault for decisions that we had no part in. No one came and asked what they should do before they do it. Or if they did, they refused to listen to our advice and did the opposite. We only hear of it after the fact when things go bad. You would, or may not, be surprised to learn that, as Christians, we do the exact same thing.

(I must say though, that my kids love to tell me that I cannot take the blame for decisions that they make as adults, even if I did screw up as a parent from time to time. I try to explain that some things that we do, or don’t do, as parents actually does have a lasting effect on our children’s decision-making skills. However, if and when you have God in your life in a real way, as opposed to just wearing the name tag, you are bound to be more successful at making choices.)

I minister to people in many ways. One common thread is that they come to me and ask where God is in the situation. They put it in many other words, like ‘I feel distant from God.’ ‘I feel unloved.’ ‘I don’t know why God has abandoned me.’

People often will say that they have relationship with Him and when asked what that looks like, they admit that they, themselves, have not sought Him in any way for a long time or… at all. I think they just think He owes it to them to rescue them from every difficult situation that they get themselves into whether they know Him or not. This would be as if I were to demand that a total stranger come pay my debt because I deserve it. Do you see the parallel? It is difficult to draw some people to the conclusion that it isn’t God that left them, but they left God to pursue their own way in this world and He let them because of free will.

Isa 59:2: “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.”

You can’t have a relationship, say with a spouse, if you never spend time with them, talk to them, get to know them, seek their counsel, include them in your life choices. If you continue to run around as if you are single, not seeking their input or spending time with them, then, you truly aren’t married in the heart sense of the word. And let me tell you, we, as people, are not that gracious. That kind of behavior would only last so long before we kick you to the curb. (Worldly speaking of course)

Too much of the time, people admit that they don’t ask God what He wants before they make a decision that will affect their lives forever. We ignore the warning signs in life and run straight into wrongdoing without giving it much of a second thought. When the natural consequences come knocking on our door, we ask why God let this happen or where He was/is in all of it.

2 James 4:7,10: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.”

Where? He was mercifully standing right there in front of you, begging you to seek Him when you literally turned and ran off with the enemy of your own free will. That is where He was.

I can picture Jesus looking down on us watching as we run too fast into the darkness, fall on our faces over and over again, wearing the name tag of Christian but the scars of many dark deeds. His heart hurts as we get farther and farther from the Light and truth.

Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

And yet, the word tells us that He leaves the 99 sheep and pursues the lost one. We are precious to Him.

There are bad things in the world called sin and death. There are natural consequences to many things that we choose to do. We shout at God for the unfairness, forgetting that this world is subject to free will just as we are, and some people choose evil over good. Innocent bystanders get caught in the line of fire.

Gal 6:7: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

God gets the blame for the natural consequences of sin and death: Some examples of natural consequences are:

·         I put smoke or chemicals in my body for years and get deathly ill as a result

·         I deal drugs and my children get taken away, or worse, shot in a drive by

·         Someone that I love dies whether by illness, intent, accident, or violence

·         I marry someone that shows signs of being mean, unethical and or not equally yoked and I get caught in the violence or darkness

I could go on with a gazillion examples, but I won’t.

Listen! Bad things do happen to good people. People have free will and some people use it for evil. Sin and satan are the authors of evil in our lives, God is not. There are natural consequences to everything in this life. There is no relationship unless you take an active part in it.

The bible doesn’t promise that you won’t have trials in this life. In fact, He warns us that if we take up our cross and follow Him, we are guaranteed to have trials for His name sake. But the rewards of following Him far outweigh the damage done.

James 1:2-4: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Be at peace and know that God loves us and His mercy endures forever. I remind you of this for those who seek Him:

Psalm 23:  “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Error on the side of Christian-Bless

 

Sometimes, we can’t see the light through the storm. Everything seems dark and ugly in the midst of trial and tribulation. It is true when others treat us unjustly. Our habit is to react.

We have chickens and two roosters now. Our rooster, Chico, is the father of our other rooster, Rico. It is said that, sometimes, they will battle it out with other roosters for the position in the flock. Most times, you have to find a place for your other roosters and only have one. We worried because Rico is so beautifully colored and our first baby chick (at least, that is my reason) and we didn’t want to get rid of him. But the potential for power tripping and fighting among them, concerned us a bit.

It is interesting to watch the dynamics of relationship as Rico grows. He started to become more colorful and stronger as time passed. And then one day, I saw him mating with one of the chickens. This, too, is a major no-no in the flock. Chico could easily fight him for doing that. Then, a few weeks later, I heard a scratchy crowing, like a young man whose voice hasn’t fully developed yet.

Now, whenever I crow to Chico, he will crow back. I assume it is to assert his position as the head rooster. So now, when I do this, little Rico tries to crow back too. And every time that little Rico crows, Chico runs over and gets in Rico’s face. It is as if he is saying, “I dare you to do that again.” As of now, Rico and Chico will square off, stare each other down and Rico will back down.

If I were to add personality to the equation, I would say that Rico probably gets a little tired of having Chico lord it over him all of the time.  I mean, Rico is just doing what comes naturally and trying to mature as nature intended. Chico just won’t allow him to express himself or do as he pleases. Rico is constantly being slapped down, so to speak, in his mind, for no good reason.

It is like that with us too. I have known people that were new at being Christian and trying to learn what that looks like. Like newborns, they eagerly consume the Word and try so hard to be good. Naturally, as we all experience from time to time, our flesh does not want to comply, so it fights against the goodness. Old habits die hard. But while they are trying to learn for the first time in their lives how not to be fleshy in their responses, they are tested by adversity, darkness and turmoil over and over again.

Why do you think that is?  I have watched this phenomenon over and over again and have come to this conclusion. If we lived in a perfect world, they wouldn’t need to learn this, but because we live in a world ruled by the evil one, they better know how to look straight into the face of adversity and walk out their Christianity. What better way to practice that than to live it?

The bible talks about being subject to the world’s authority.

1 Peter 2:13-14: “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.”

Now, there are other passages that speak of being subject to the authority that God put over us but I want to concentrate on our reaction to adversity and turmoil, not on our relationships with authority.

If you read farther: 2 Peter 2:15-20: “For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the Emperor.

Servants be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.”

One of the things that I always told my students, and shared with staff, is to Matthew 18 it in times of trouble. I would remind them that suffering unjustly makes you ready for the world. The world is meaner and darker than what we could ever experience. Turning the other cheek and enduring prepares people for the darkness and turmoil in the world. How we respond to it in life, will dictate who we are in Christ.

1 Peter 4: 12-13: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s suffering, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

One of my students came back to me after going out into the world and said that she realized, (very quickly) after the fact, that those situations that she hated most, made her stronger and able to deal better with real life situations in the world. My heart sang with happiness.

If you can be silent and endure, turning instead to God for comfort and encouragement, you are stronger and more equipped to live in this dark world and keep your sanity, Christianity, and peace.

1 Peter 3: 8-9: “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

You see, it is easy to slip into our natural mode and fight fire with fire, so to speak. But what good do you do to your heart and spirit when you turn to darkness instead of light? It is better to surrender your life for Christ than to allow them to steal your Light.

1 Peter 3: 14: “But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”

It is amazing to me, still, that He knew our hearts and gave us all of this instruction for our own benefit before we were ever born. Imagine two scenarios:

1)      I am a Christian. I am at work and my boss starts berating me in all manner of evil and unjustness and doesn’t allow me to respond. I am livid that he would disrespect me in this way and I:

a.       Verbally berate him back in anger and tell him that he is wrong and point to the one who is at fault. Or,

b.      I bite my tongue for my job’s sake and the first chance I get, I go vent to everyone who will listen about what a jerk my boss is.

2)      I am a Christian. I am at work and my boss starts berating me in all manner of evil and unjustness and doesn’t allow me to respond. I am hurt that he would think it, but I allow him to finish and I:

a.       Gently respond with the truth and whether he believes it or not. I stand in silence accepting his decision.

b.      And I pray for him that he would see the example that I set in how to treat others by not losing my cool in a worldly situation

Now, that doesn’t mean that you say nothing at all when someone is being unjust to you and/or to others. You have a duty to protect and defend those that would abuse their power and Lord it over others. You have the ability to lovingly address wrongs in private and follow the Matthew 18:15-17 rule.

Mat 18:15-27:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.

If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.

And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile or tax collector.”

I must say that this doesn’t always work. Forces in the world will side with leadership even knowing the truth. You may not be able to get anyone else to come forward because fear of man is stronger than their fear of God. (and doing the right thing) There may be too many forces for wrongdoing, those that enjoy the perks of power, those that can’t afford to believe the truth. They may have ulterior motives like money, the need for staff, biases, that cause them to error on the side of evil. I have lived this exact scenario and I must say, it is a painful process. However, our position must be to shine the Light and accept the decision.

You have to decide for yourself what type of Christian that you want to represent. Do you want to feed the hypocrisy theory of being Christian or do you want to be the Light in the darkness for the world? You can’t be both.

The bible says that you won’t have to endure anything that he hasn’t given you the power to overcome.

1 Cor 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Therefore, suffer in righteousness, what is to be heaped on your head. For His sake, respond in gentleness, truth and love. Be blessed. Be the Light!

Don't be a chicken. :-)

 

 

Be All You Can Be

 I always wanted to be a detective. I know that sounds juvenile, but I was an internal affairs (IA), welfare and Medicaid fraud investigator for the state for what felt like forever. I was methodical and intuitive but the thing that boosted my success was my ability to relate to others and obtain confessions. I truly believe that, but by the grace of God, I would not have been able to elicit such a high rate of confessions. You see, as IA, I worked to protect the assets and lives of the developmentally disabled who could not protect themselves.

A city detective that I worked with on one specifically horrific case, asked me to apply because they needed more good detectives on the force. I made inquiries and found out that I had to enter as an officer and work swing shifts for possibly years before I could make detective. This was a time when the show “Cops” was on the tube and my son cried when I told my three kids that I would like to be a police officer. However, I was a single mom, three kids. I couldn’t imagine working swing shifts and not knowing what day it is or trying to sleep when they are awake… nope. Not for me.

It is interesting how many people want to be something but never quite get past the hard knocks that it takes to get there. People want to wear the badge but not really do the work. A whole lotta people out there seem to be a little confused about what it takes to reach a goal and wear the badge.

Hear me out. It may be obvious to most that you can't visit the police station one day a week and call yourself an officer. You can't ace a written test for the honor to be in the military. You can't be an officer or soldier during the week and a felon on the weekends. Being in the military requires integrity, honor and courage. They must abide by a special set of principles and values. They go through rigorous physical, mental and emotional training and education to "be all they can be."

They are trained to defend their country. They are willing to lay down their lives for others, putting others above self. Soldiering takes a special type of warrior. It is a noble position. But they didn’t grab a number 2 pencil, fill out a test and walk in. They have to be knowledgeable. They have to have stamina to stick it out during the physical trials. They better be able to be discerning, accountable, disciplined, physically and mentally fit. They can’t just take a seat and be done once they are in. If they want to be the best of the best, they better keep doing all that they can to surrender to the commander’s will and save lives.

It isn’t about the uniform. It isn’t about the badge. It wouldn’t be worth it if that were the case. There is something deeper and more meaningful to the choice to serve one’s Country. It is a heart thing. Not everyone can do it.

You see, the soldier learns to live, breathe and die for the mission. It is literally written on their hearts. They let nothing stand in the way of the mission.  They get beat up, shot down and blown up… and still they are soldiers until their dying breath. When they held themselves to a higher calling, they surrendered everything to it knowing that this is required of them. No regrets.

You see, I want to reach in and rescue those of you who have been told that you only need to visit once a week and call it good. I want to caution you that just calling yourself something doesn’t make it so. Wearing a title or a badge doesn’t make it true. Knowing every single answer in the book, doesn’t write it on your heart. You can’t be half in. You can’t be living on a double-edged sword. You can’t be all that you can be one day and beat down the innocent in the next. You can’t let your life or your children’s lives be worldly and broken and put on your Sunday best once a week. You just can’t.

James 1:22-25: But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

We are under the mistaken idea that ministering to the broken is a ‘pastor’s’ or a “priest’s” job. You see, the name tag doesn’t make you a pastor or a priest and neither does standing behind a pulpit or running a church. What you do as a follower of Christ makes (or breaks) you as a Minister to all people, at all times.

We think that we are just bystanders or audiences in the church, weekly visitors. We feel like if we give up our Sundays to sit in the pew and listen and we be careful not to be bad, then we are doing what we should. We think that if we are ‘good’ people, we get a pass. No. Trust me. I got it wrong for decades! Don’t live to be 40 before you figure it out! But if you have, start here.

If you have given yourself to the Lord… if you have fully surrendered or just sayin’ that you did, if you want to use the term Christian, then act like it. And when you don’t act like it, repent and get back up again!

You have a responsibility to the One who made you. How are you going to know how to “be” without reading the one book that outlines what He wants for and from us? How are you going to recognize a lie from the truth when someone throws a false response to you about what the book says, and you don’t even know? Worse, how are you going to recognize a false prophet if you didn’t read what He has warned us to watch for? He even says that some Christians will fall for the lies and turn against one another!

2 Tim 3:16: All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Listen, I don’t want to have to watch my back because you didn’t want to take the time to write it on your heart. Amen?!

If you were fortunate to be blessed with children, you best be raising them up in the way that they should go. Do you want them to grow up ignorant and left behind? Do you want them to burn in Hell? There is a good reason to start them young. You plant the seed so deep that even if they do stray, they will recognize the truth. Be the example that shows them what a Christ filled life looks like.

Prov 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

If you weren’t blessed with children, well, you still have a world full of people that the Good Book says to put before yourself so you got plenty of time and love to be spreading. Your mission, if you are a Christian, is to minister to the broken, love others above yourself, be a Christ like example to the world, share the Word with those who don’t know, and produce fruit! (Go back and read the 5^th paragraph again only think in terms of Christians.)

John 13:35: By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Now, don’t get worried about how much time you have after work and all that. When I first became a chrisitan, I was in church three times a week out of great gratitude and expectation. If you don’t have that kind of time, don’t let anyone guilt you. That isn’t what our Good God intended. I am simply saying that if it is written on your heart, you will naturally minister to others when He brings someone in your life that needs it. He will compel you to approach someone who is hurting. He will lead you to help someone or do something or be somewhere. He knows that you have to work in this world to get by. He knows that you have children who play soccer. I mean, He IS God after all. Just be open to feel Him compelling you to do what is right.

1 Thes 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

People tend to put a lot of pressure on others to serve in ways that are difficult solely for their own agenda. But if you just follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, you will be fine.

If you get knocked down, you have to get back up. If you get wounded, you get right and get back up. If you do wrong, you right it. If you lose hope, you refill it. You can’t live lukewarm. You have to put everyone before yourself, but God before all. Anything less is hypocrisy.  You are His sheep. Follow the Shephard. Be the LAMB.

Listen to His Words

Accept His Holy Spirit to guide you

Minister to others as the need arises

Be the Light

 

Groundwire.net

 

I want to remind you folks about a wonderful, free, Christian chatline that is out there. I will let you read about here.

https://www.groundwire.net/coaching

Listen, if you find yourself with a light for Christ and the desire to just be there for others, I urge you to look into volunteering. I can't even begin to explain how much they care, how rewarding this is and how thoroughly they equip you to help others.

If  you have a light that is being subdued by the world or isolated by Covid or just needs to help others, check out this website. It is available all over the world in many languages. I bet they could use you! There are never enough coaches for the number of broken people seeking encouragement.

A Sin by any other name

The weight of addiction changes those caught in its web. It consumes the life force as if drawing the Spirit out of you until you are left with a shell of broken, dried flesh and bone. It affects how you think. It affects how you feel about your lives, relationships, your purpose… It poisons your relationships and deteriorates almost all ties to humanity. It steals your health and sanity. It can cause your skin to blister and your muscle to melt away until your ailments overtake you.

The unseen damage, initially unseen anyway, is the guilt, shame and desperation that battle and rages against the soul. Every child, every person, knows how guilt and shame can isolate you; can distance you from family, friends, and community. The guilt and shame, self-loathing, self-condemnation, not to mention the wrongs done to others in the commission of this quest for more drugs, isolates you from those you love. It separates you from God.

Imagine, if you have read previous posts, if my 17 year old granddaughter doubted God’s love and forgiveness for the sins that she committed back then. She wailed with humility and gratitude when she found out that she could be forgiven and is loved by God. How desolate and unloved and unforgiven she must feel every single day now.

She LOVES God. She knows that her Hampa and I love her unconditionally. I know that she knows that because we continue to text and send love and photos to any cell number that we can find for her. And yet, in the darkness of her addiction, she can’t even TEXT us back because of her sin. IMAGINE her guilt and shame now! She is in such darkness that she cut herself off from those who love her and separates herself from God. She knows that she is in sin!

If only we all would understand that there is division in our daily lives, how much easier it would be to humble ourselves and do as we should.

People have written her off long ago. The life of a homeless addict is brutal, especially for women, they are beaten, robbed, enslaved, raped, and have little to no protection out there. Most of this crime goes unreported because of the nature of their lives. And many people prey on the homeless and addicts for this reason. (Trust me, it isn’t about Trinity and drug addicts, I have a point)

Initially, because people must feel that ‘it won’t happen to me’, doing drugs is just fun and games. But before you can think straight, you no longer just want the drug, the high, but you ‘have to have’ it to survive; to keep from getting sick. That is, after all, how drugs are made. You begin to weigh your options. How do I get more? Would I lie? Would I steal from family, friends or my employer to keep from getting sick? Would I deal drugs to keep my habit going? Would I sell myself?

Truly, it is a ‘selling your souls to the devil’ type progression that will consume you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Those things that you become willing to trade: the parts of your life, health and soul that you trade to chase the next high and avoid getting terribly ill, are, at a certain point, no longer choices. Hear me out.

It starts as choices, yes, but at a certain point, your body will literally attack you in any way that it can if you do not get that drug into your system.  In fact, opioids are made to cause more ghost pains so that you think you need it long after your true condition has healed. And yet, they are legal. (Nope, not going there either)

Because of this, addiction has a negative connotation, deservedly so. There are so many other burdens or sins that we overlook or minimize because it doesn’t have the negative connotation that addiction does. It almost seems that because people ‘seek’ drugs, and it is illegal, that it carries more of a stigma than even cancer. (Don’t beat me up here. It is an analogy that feels necessary right now.) And because of this, we criminalize the victims but not the drug companies. (No, I am not going there this time.)

1John 3:4: Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.

The one most overlooked thing that I want to point out to you is, admit it or not, addicts, in some respect, acknowledge that they are broken. They know, perhaps not in these exact terms, that they are in sin and darkness. In some way, they recognize that they are sinners and are unworthy. They are worn down to the point of almost being unrecognizable from their former selves. They know and feel every raw detail of being in sin... which is more than I can say for the rest of us.

2 Tim 2:24-26: ²⁴ And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. ²⁵ Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶ and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

So, here it is: You see, sin, any sin, does the same to us. It can and will separate us from God whether we are aware of it or not. Yes, even people who wear the badge of ‘Christian’ for all to see, assume, wrongly, that sin is more a physical state like murder and adultry, rather than what goes on in our thoughts and hearts. We convince ourselves that we are justified, sanctified, above it all, pious and knowledgeable and therefore, exempt from self-reflection and sin.

Gal 5:19-21: The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Let me remind you, brothers and sisters, those ‘little white lies’ that you keep telling to hide your sin are not little and they aren’t white. They are darkness just the same. The mental battles that you lost, the hypocrisy, the fake accolades, the badge wearing and condemnation that you wave about as if you are God is reserved for you. How far are you willing to go to hide your darkness? Would you lie and give false witness? Would you acquiesce due to fear of man over what God would want? Would you be willing to steal? Would you sell yourself to the devil?

Mark 7: 21-23: For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, ²² adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ²³ All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

You can cover your tracks, coat it with sweetness and supplication, ingratiate yourself to those over you in this life but you cannot hide it from the One who knows you best. You can hold yourselves above others, gather the like-minded minions to your breast and treat those that you think are ‘less than’ you with disdain… but that is poison, my friend and it will destroy you even more so than addiction because at least the addict knows they are in sin.

That tiny bit of anger or resentment, the desire for stature in the world over a desire to serve, that fear of man over God that makes you dishonest, that willingness to sell your soul for acknowledgment in this world can make you unrecognizable. You can quote book, chapter and verse but if you have not love, you are lost. Mark my words, you may not have boils from the poison in meth, the scars of abuse from a rough life or even the outward appearance that you are sinful and sick… but you are.

1 Cor 13:1-3: If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

You are not free from judgement. These things follow the same path of destruction as any other sin. These things darken your heart, turn others away, withers your light and brings down worldly kingdoms.

We must be more aware of the poison in our own thoughts and behaviors so that we, too, will not turn from Him. We want Him to recognize us when He comes. We must understand, call it what you like, sin is sin! Dig deep my friends. Ask Him to reveal your sins. Get on your knees and repent.

Prov 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Not one of us is without sin, but praise to those who recognize that they are in sin and seek forgiveness for their brokenness.

PS: This was going to be about how failing health can consume our lives in the same way that addiction can. How illness can change our lives and the lives of all around us because it changes who we are and what we must become to survive it. But God. He had other plans.

Now do you see?

Much love and many blessings