THE TRUTH ABOUT WOUNDS

Wounded warriors don't sulk and whimper. Wounded warriors flaunt, they boast, they control, they disengage, they are louder, more rebellious, they yell, they swear, they sin ... they do and say things that protect them from the world, from you… they wear disguises meant to keep you at a safe distance. The more broken they are, the harder they appear to be.

The thing that comes immediately to my mind are teenagers. They are best at exuding this type of behavior. They are still in the learning phase of life anyway and they are not very good at hiding what they have learned because it is all that they know. As they get older they add polish or shine to their act, or perhaps they add bricks and mortar to their wall, but, as they are, they have not learned to disguise it very well.

Hurt them, and their bristles go up, like a porcupine. Cause them fear and they spray you with harsh words and attitude, like a skunk. You would assume from their reaction that they are not worth your time. Who wants to know or deal with someone like that?!

Just like with any of us, communication is difficult, especially for the wounded. Communication can be stunted by having lived with the wrong example of what communication should be… lack of experience. Whatever damage they witnessed growing up, becomes a curse to them as well. Like all of us, they emulate what they see and are limited by their experience. Unfortunately, we see others through our eyes and our experiences so we just don’t understand how they learned to fill in the blank so poorly. You mimic what you see in childhood, or you become the complete opposite.

It is like that commercial on tv about the kids mimicking the parents they love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOhGmaJt5kE

Children take their patterns of behavior, physical reactions and style of communication from their family life and transpose that into their adult relationships. If they were the victim of verbal, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, those wounds and the self preservation created from that, become deeply embedded into who they are and they may not even realize it. They dress their wounds in ego and humor and bravado but it is still just a stunted adult with battle scars. It's still just a defense mechanism.

When we see someone wearing these disguises; when we are put off by someone and would rather not associate with them or deal with them, dig deeper. We must see past the false front into the wounds which lie beneath. We may NEVER know that there is a wound. If we got close to them and were able to get to know them well enough to ask, they may never admit it. But think about it: There HAS to be wounds, poor examples, lack of love, nurturing, support, respect… for someone to be so broken, don’t you think? Of course you do.

What do you do when you are attacked or exposed to someone who reacts so defiantly and perhaps even to you when you meant well? You immediately view them through the eyes of love and compassion. It won’t always be easy. We are human after all. But take a breath and pray for them. Soften your words and change your tact…or walk away, but pray for them just the same.