The Struggle

Every day, I struggle to be who God says that I am. Because I am human, some days I don't struggle when I should, I just react like a human. Most times, I am battling old wounds and insecurities, too. I am working in the world and fighting not to be of the world. I am my worst critic as to whether I am worthy to be in God's army. Nothing anyone can feel towards me or say about me could be as harsh as what the evil one already plays over and over through my thoughts.

I suspect that there are many of you who feel the same. I know many of you have just given up trying. You surrender to the fact that you aren't good enough and never will be. It seems easier to just live how you live, and be who you are, rather than whom He says you are and can be. I can't tell you how many times that I have thought those thoughts.

Shouldn't it be easier? Why is the darkness always on the edge and trying to beat me down? When will the struggle end and the peace and joy just be there all of the time? 

Then I sat in church and heard the message, as you should. The day that Satan gives up harassing us, is the day we know that we aren't walking in the Spirit. We are no longer a threat to the darkness. We are no longer sharing our light. I, we, are not going through struggles because we are unworthy. We struggles against the darkness because we are a threat to it. 

Don't give up hope! The darker it seems, the more God can use you! No one has your experience, no one knows your strengths like God. Satan would love to twist you and sift you like wheat, but God uses it for your good AND for the progression of His kingdom.