Have
you ever just watched people? I don’t mean follow them around a store and then
home like a stalker. J I mean, have you ever seen someone you love completely
metamorphosis in a setting with other people? Someone who was simply content to
be themselves around family or close friends, completely changes their
mannerisms, the way they dress, the things they say that they believe. At
times, even their pattern of speech will change around certain people. They try
so hard to fit into that setting and appear cool.
Most
of us relate that to kids trying to look cool for friends. But this also fits
for people who try to fit in with our churches. Most of us, and we must
remember this at all costs, feel completely out of place and lost
when in a new church. Sometimes it becomes so uncomfortable that we literally
stop going and just send the kids. We may feel inadequate physically,
economically, socially, spiritually or any other way that our little brains
surmise, but we just don’t feel that we fit in.
Sometimes
even a sermon can put us off because we have had no exposure at all to the
bible and when we do, it speaks of hell and brimstone and sin and death. We can’t
get out of their fast enough because, my goodness, that didn’t feel good and we
have already been filled with enough negative stuff in our miserable world.
I
remember years ago, in a church setting, feeling inadequate, less than, and
completely out of my environment. I was
in my early twenties. It was my first attempt at church after being saved by
the door knockers. I looked around in that church at the women, because we
always compare ourselves with our own kind. They had their hair nicely done. My
hair was straight and uncut. They wore pretty dresses. I wore jeans. They spoke
softly and sweetly. That was foreign to me. I just spoke like me. But I was
filled with the fire inside. I went to church at least three times a week bringing
my three kids with me each time. I
always felt a little patronized, instead of accepted. The women smiled and said
hello, but it felt obligatory and insincere.
I
remember going straight to Yellow Front to buy a dress, just so I fit in. It
was the only place I could afford to shop. I bought one sundress with spaghetti
straps, as that was the only style they had. When I wore it, I pulled the
straps tight and lifted the dress high to avoid being revealing. I actually thought
I would fit in better. I felt so much better about going to church the next
time. I felt more like a young lady.
At
the end of service, the pastor’s wife came over and greeted me. I smiled big
and felt that she must have noticed that I had a new dress. Instead, she said
that I shouldn’t wear it because it showed my shoulders. I explained my
situation. She offered that I could wear a shirt under it, which I knew would
look dumb because I really didn’t have one that would look right. Then she
offered me some of her old dresses. Not trying to be rude here, but she was
taller than I and preferred the long past the knees dresses that fanned out. I
would have look like Pippy Longstocking in her mother’s dress.
Long
story short, what started out to make me feel like one of the women folk, like
I fit in, ended up humiliating me and making me feel even less like a true
member of the church. Maybe I should clarify that I do believe wearing low cut
clothes that show your breasts or high cut skirts or tight fitting apparel that
leave nothing to the imagination is not appropriate in church or at most workplaces.
But I don’t believe that showing my
shoulders was inappropriate. I did my best with what I could afford, raising
three kids alone. I don’t even know if thrift stores existed back then. J
Our
deep need to be accepted in this world is usually stronger than our deep
understanding that God already does. If God woke your spirit up and is leading
you to church, then ignore those led by another spirit all together and go
where God wants you to be. No one, and I mean NO ONE, else matters. God has a
purpose for you. You could be the difference in someone’s life between life and
death. You could learn something and pass it on that turns someone’s life
around. You could be a spiritual dynamo! So don’t accept the unspiritual
messages satan has others give to you. People who think like that live in the
dark and desperately need prayer.
The
bible says:
James 2:1-9 {NIV]
says: Favoritism Forbidden:
“2 My brothers
and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show
favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a
gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.
3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes
and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand
there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not
discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who
are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the
kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have
dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not
the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the
ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?
8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your
neighbor as yourself,”[a] you are doing right. 9 But if
you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.”
Please
know that they do this because they are hypocrites and are not following the
love for others that Christ showed us. So if you are approached, understand
that God loves you and is grateful that you are learning His word despite
opposition. Don’t feel dejected or humiliated by the approach. Feel sorry for the
arrogant brother/sister in Christ and pray for their enlightenment. Not all
churches will put more value into how you dress instead of the love in your
heart.
Also
recognize that if it is just a parishioner, and not the pastor’s wife or
leadership telling you this, then it should not reflect on the church itself.
Matthew
23:5-10 [NIV]
5 “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their
phylacteries[a] wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they
love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the
synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the
marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.
8 “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher,
and you are all brothers. 9 And do not call anyone on earth
‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. 10 Nor
are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah.
Decades
later, I attend a church that is so filled with love and acceptance that I
crave being there in that spirit. I work six days a week and the only day I get
to myself is Sunday. I also don’t sleep well due to pain. So some days my
physical self struggles with my spiritual self to drag my own self up out of
bed and get ready on Sunday. Some days I wear shorts, some days jeans, but I
make it there. Why? Because I know that if I miss church, it feels like I am a
spiritual ship in a muddy bog and every time I miss I get a tiny hole in my
ship. The mud starts seeping into my ship all week and I begin to feel tired,
nasty and dark. I NEED the spiritual
filling to get me through this dark world. So I go to church and they fill the
little holes with spiritual food and I float out of there like I could fly.
THAT is how your church should make you feel.
Now,
find a church that loves you as you are and understands that God is working in
your life or you wouldn’t be there. I can’t recommend that all of you move to
Flagstaff and join my church, so I will say this; The Assemblies of God
churches are all over the place. This is not to plug them, but to tell you that
they are straight bible believing filled with love churches who understand that
we are led by the spirit to accomplish certain things.
God
bless and keep you
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