I Have Overcome the World

1 John 4:4: “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” God must be using me again. I find myself on my hubby’s laptop in the middle of the day, on vacation with our family, in Germany. He, God- not my hubby, keeps nudging me to get to it. I, in my selfishness, make excuses. Maybe I am a little disenchanted with my infirmities and have felt sorry for myself. Maybe because of my health, I am having trouble with the thoughts and putting it into words. I really don’t know. God will fill me in later. But one thing that I do know, He keeps sending me messages through others. This time, through the movie “Father Stu.” Thanks Father Stu and Mark Wahlberg for following His calling. You done good. You readers should watch the movie before reading this. It will help in your understanding of what it is like to fight for something when it feels like so many people are against you. For those of us who are little more colorful but have a lot more to share, it is worth it as a reminder of what God has done in our lives and the lives of others. The movie is not boring. In fact, I failed to see how it was going to get from the harsh reality of life to the salvation of ‘Father Stu’ but it did and quite wonderfully. (It is a true story, by the way) I should add, for those of you who refuse to watch movies that have swear words and negative content, sometimes it helps to get real if you want to learn how to reach people in this dark world. This is an honest depiction of one man fighting himself and others to serve the Lord. Most of us weren’t born with a bible in our hands and pure motives in our lives. Some of us were beat down, abused and lied to in the darkest corners of your world. We are the ones that you should be reaching out to. You won’t find us in a pew in your church on Sunday but we are begging to be found. Lord knows He didn’t find me there. But He never gave up. I want to talk about the ways in which we sabotage ourselves and others, sometimes on purpose and sometimes totally oblivious. You see, it is no secret to those of us who want to serve the Lord, that there WILL be obstacles. There will be people who tell you that you are wrong. There will be so many viable but worldly reasons why it is not the easy or well sought after road. There will be very pious, successful and seemingly well meaning Christians that will block your way, make you feel small and unworthy, and act as if you will never be good enough for ‘fill in the blanks’ when you desire with all your heart to serve Him. There will be hurdles. There will be long lines of others ahead of you and seemingly ‘more Christian’ than you. There will be stacks of paperwork and red tape to cut through. Trust me, there will be a great deal of cost involved too. You will try so hard to put on your Sunday best and fit in. But inside, you feel like the dress or suit is one size too small and you have dirt on your knees from the streets that you come from. It will be hard work, on this earth. Because, ultimately, people usually get it wrong and make it harder than it should be. There is one God and only one way to serve Him. No where in the bible does it say to be someone that you aren’t, to wear what everyone expects you too, to worship how others do or to reach others in exactly the way they tell you to. Trust God to work through you and you do you! Just like Stu. SPOILER ALERT: One of my favorite parts of that movie was the time that he spoke up in the prison scene to reach those who didn’t even know they needed reaching. Deeper still, how his more ‘religious’ seminary brother was relieved that Stu spoke up in his way to reach the prisoners. Had Stu put on airs, God’s word would have fallen on deaf ears. He was real. He worked with what God gave him. He was comfortable in his own skin and that is who God called. So many times in the movie, he spoke out to proclaim it. So many times in our lives, in conforming to fit someone else’s view, we actually disengage with those that God wants us to connect with. Don’t do that. He called YOU. 1 Cor. 9:19-23: “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law),so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” I have felt like an orphan since I was small. Home was never MY home. I have loved the Lord since I was a wee child. I have no idea how I knew that He was up there. We didn’t go to church. But at about five(?) years old, I would lay in the grass at the bottom of our massive yard and talk to Him. It was too long ago to remember what I said. But He has always, even in my darkest days, chased me down. I still have no idea why. Except, like Stu, I believe in reaching people where they are and not putting on airs. The hardest thing that I have done so far was the fight to be a licensed minister. First, I am a woman in a board of males viewpoint. I am not the first. But I asked myself so many times if it was worth it. I had to tell my story to a bunch of older men who had no idea what my life was like… or more importantly, what my heart was like. I remember in one of the final meetings where it was being decided if I was good enough and if my husband would indeed go to bat for me despite his not yet being a Christian, two young people in that meeting spent their time on their cell phones as I spilled my heartfelt desire to follow God. I could feel the tension from my husband who was there solely for me. He would have stopped that meeting right then and asked them if they had something better to do had it not been my ultimate goal to be a part of this organization. He was livid that they had no respect or decorum for the procedure that they forced me to go through. He was even more upset that none of the elder board members recognized or stopped it. Secondly, I am a sinner in a world of people who forget that they are too. I was in my 50’s when I started the process. That is a lot of worldliness to cover in 50 years. I was as speckled with sin as my ANA lab report. What’s more, it isn’t necessarily what we do but our whole way of thinking that needs to change when we serve the Lord. I was at a point where I was analyzing every thought and word and trying to take it captive. That is 50 long years of rehabbing my thoughts and actions. Unfortunately, I think that when people find the Lord early, and God bless them for it, they stop looking for their internal flaws and forget they ever had any sin. It is the false “I have made it!’ syndrome. It felt like they were sitting in judgment of me; as if they are past that sin thing now and I should be too, at my age. Unfortunately, I was just getting started. And mostly, I was too honest and was supposed to color my sin with a blurred brush so as not to sound nonredeemable to the powers that be. There is more to it but essentially, I was being judged by people who forgot about those that Jesus called to follow Him and how He did it. My sins were great. So were the disciples. I didn’t murder anyone but I bet my words did a million times over. I am amazed that the Lord found any Light at all left in my heart. Of course, if you ask my kids they would argue the point. But try being totally honest with others about everything you failed at in life and see how ‘worthy’ you would be. Trouble is, I was being judged by people who may have stopped analyzing their own thoughts and actions because they thought that they were finished. Newsflash. We are human and terribly flawed. We are never ‘finished.’ At 62, (almost) I am still trying to monitor and police my thoughts and actions. I am a lot like Stu. Jesus called me. Of this there is no doubt. But humans put up the rules of what that should look like. They didn’t accept me for who I was or believe that I was really called. I argued and fought for my right to be called pastor because He told me to. Ultimately, they acquiesced. But the battle continues within myself. Maybe that is as it should be? I mean, my kids have great hearts but they have the same sense of ‘not good enough’ that I have. I didn’t do them any favors with that, I know. But we talk about it from time to time and I come to this thinking… maybe, it is because we always feel ‘less than’ that we can better recognize and reach others who feel the same… like Father Stu. Col 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Too often, someone comes into your life and tries to tell you who and how you should be. Or maybe, just by them being present, you question your worthiness and direction. But ultimately, if you are reaching God’s people and helping saves souls, you are doing what God intended. Let Him deal with HOW you do it when you meet Him.

The Lord and Free Will

Prayer is a funny thing when you think about it closely enough. Prayer is a righteous but dangerous thing. It is righteous to those of us who know that the Lord holds the power. His word tells us that we will be given what we ask for… or… are we taking that out of context too? Mat 7:7: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” But prayer is a dangerous thing because of the deception surrounding it. Sometimes even well meaning Christians get it wrong. Inevitably, those who don’t read, study or follow scripture are the ones who suffer most. They become disenchanted with their faith because their prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears. Some will walk away from the Lord because of unanswered prayers. When, in my mind, we as Christians failed to teach people about prayer, free will and the Lord’s will. I was a teenager when I prayed for a stereo and promised ridiculous promises to get one. By the way, I didn’t get one. I also prayed for escape from my incestuous father but did not wait for the Lord to save me from it. I ended up almost falling prey to an incestuous uncle, as well. The proverbial ‘frying pan into the fire’ scenario to be sure. You see, as a young adult, I was impetuous and impatient, much like the woman I became. I didn’t know how to pray. Sadly, as a Christian, I have prayed for things just as self serving or hazardous for myself and for others. I never considered the damage that I could be doing when those prayers that I so adamantly believed in, for others, failed to come true. To this end, I write this because I am no more clear on this subject than I feel I should be. Before I go farther down this rabbit hole, please understand that I KNOW that the Lord is capable of changing the trajectory of someone’s life. I simply believe that there are several other factors that interfere. Only the good Lord can clear it all up when I pass on to be with Him. First, I believe that we ask for the wrong things and/or the wrong way sometimes. WE don’t know what the Lord has in store for us or anyone else. IF we trust that the Lord has a plan for our lives AND that He knows all things past, present and future, THEN our first words should be “Your will be done” above all else, yes? For example, we pray for the Lord not to take people who are ill and suffering. When they pass on to be with Him, we are angry and blame Him. Really? Perhaps we truly do not have enough faith if we cannot trust the Lord’s timing. Perhaps they would have suffered more. Perhaps they would be praying for death but unable to voice it. We are not all knowing. The Lord is. Secondly, and I am not going to number each point, the Lord gave us free will. The Lord, in His ultimate wisdom, wanted us to CHOOSE faith in Him. He did not want a world of glorified God-fearing zombies that simply do as we are told. He wanted us to worship Him from our hearts and have faith even when we cannot see. John 20:29: “Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen me and yet have believed.” Because of free will, I think that the Lord would not interfere DIRECTLY with someone’s life choices. I believe that He can, will and does intercede INDIRECTLY by prompting others to ‘attempt’ to heavily influence someone’s choices or direction. Rom 8:34: 34: “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” If you all read my blogs then you know my feeling on free will. Free will kills. You also know about my beautiful granddaughter lost in addiction. I pray endlessly for the Lord to save her fom addiction and a horrible life in the streets. He hasn’t hit her with a bolt of lightening to turn her to Him or save her life. To this day, I wait on the Lord. What I do believe is that the Lord has put many people and things in her life so that she continues to seek help even when she doesn’t have the strength to go through with it. She talks about God and still holds onto her faith even in her darkest hour. She has reached out many many times to her mother for help and each time she runs from it when her mother goes to take her to rehab. I KNOW that it isn’t a lack in the Lord’s ability. It is her brokenness. She has put her faith in idols (drugs) and satan has been successful in deceiving her into thinking that she cannot ever be free or ‘worthy’. Don’t get me started on the ‘Worthy lie.” (Not this time anyway.) Needless to say, the Lord is very much active in her life and has left the 99 to save her and many like her. She just isn’t willing (free will) yet. Her faith is buried beneath the fear and darkness so that she cannot recognize the Light and Truth that is chasing her. Free will causes us to darken our doorways with sin, illness and regret. There is a natural consequence to our choices of free will. We smoke; we get cancer. We party; we become addicts. We lust; we become lustful, lost souls seeking idols that cannot fulfill us. But there is the other side too. Because everyone has free will, we become victims of someone else’s sin and free will. The pedophile, incestuous parents, rapist, sex traffickers, drug dealers, abusers…. Their free will kills innocent people. What doesn’t kill them, can cause them to become sinful, broken beings literally lost in darkness. Sin, all sin, leads to darkness and death. But the Lord is not the cause of it. He is the answer. I have a dear dear friend who is dying of cancer. She has suffered so very much physically, prior to this revelation and continues to suffer as the world attempts to heal her. She has been and is suffering with pain and illness in a very real way. This is not the Lord’s doing. We live in a fallen world of sin and illness since the fall of Adam and Eve. Sickness is a part of it. The world creates even more sickness and health issues by meddling where it shouldn’t and innocent people suffer. But that is in the world and of the world. The Lord has conquered the world and death. Our salvation is in Him. John 14:6: “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” So, we make choices that cause us to suffer natural consequences. Others make choices that cause us to suffer unnatural consequences. The world being full of sickness and death has caused us to suffer. Our one and only salvation is in Christ. We pray that His will be done BUT to give protection where He will. To give comfort where He will. To use all His influence to bring others to salvation where He will. And to help those of us left behind understand and draw closer to Him in our darkest moments. THAT is what I pray for. Am I wrong in this vein of thinking? I don’t know. Maybe I should pray that He change my words to reflect His message so I don’t get it wrong? Again, I trust Him. If YOU trust Him, watch how you pray. Be careful what you pray for and teach others to pray responsibly. I love you all and wish you the best of health and happiness.